Complacent Violins

Yes Jason, I couldn't make a violin-related title without using an Anberlin reference.

(EDIT: Yikes. I started this post on the tenth.)

So, I've been very busy with the violin...

(This was from March 10th:) I was #41 on the waiting list for a competition that I've been preparing 2 months for. Apparently the 40 applicant limit was met within the first two weeks that it opened up, and my app was sent in two late considering it was only 2-3 weeks before the deadline. On the bright side, that's one less thing to worry about, and my preparation wouldn't have been in vain because I have a masterclass for the Saint Saens the day after anyways.

EDIT: The masterclass was decent. The apparently world-renowned Almita Vamos thought well of me. Unfortunately a lot of the stuff she went over were problems that I was already aware of, but was too noob to remember. I was really nervous too. :|

...

Back to the future now. I mean present.

So as of now I am literally scrambling to get my chamber music act together, because I'll be performing the Martinu in Carnegie Hall next week. Much to my mild surprise (and perhaps yours too), I've realized that I'm apprehending it more than being ecstatic. Hey, it's a fabulous opportunity and a great experience, but my piece is quite a challenge and I'm simply not mentally, if not artistically, ready. (Gee, I'm pathetic.) This is quite a leap for me, as the most prominent venue I've ever performed in before was... well it was so insignificant that I can't even name any. (Zipper Hall, perhaps?) And now it's Carnegie Hall across the country. This means I will have to work towards perfection- something that I rarely brush upon...

Besides the nerve-racking NYC tour, I have to go live on the radio with my OTHER chamber music group. Once again, yay fantastic performance opportunity but I am just not feeling confident. If you want to hear me fail, tune in to Live on KCSN 88.5 FM “Live From LACMA” on

Sunday, May 2nd, 2010 @ 6pm. Listen for the Mendelssohn Trio in E minor.

Honestly I've just been lacking a lot of confidence lately. I have lost the zeal for a lot of things. Don't get me wrong; I love the life of a violinist but sometimes I wish I could take a break. I'm tired.

Lucky for me though, things will start to wind down in May when all the major concerts are over.

-Tanya Yang. We will hang. I promise.