So since none of us live under a rock, we've all heard about how BP's oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico is raping the ecosystems of about six different states for generations to come, and that their colossal screw-up can now be seen in space: 
"Houston, we're fine but you don't look too good."
And when you realize that this oil spill ALONE has done more damage to U.S. shores that every other war in history combined, then a pattern starts to emerge.
BP comes off a BIT like a classic superhero villain here. I mean, first they make blow something up, then they make colossal blunder, then they appear on TV to warn everyone. This comes off exactly like a Dr. Doom scheme, except he was smart enough to read his to-do list the right way up.
And yes, that entire picture to the left was a thirty second excuse to steal Kat's evil laugh.
Seriously, they're even total dicks too. On day 52 of the spill (Day "7 weeks and still sucking"), a spokesman for BP claimed that they were "not aware of any reason" their stocks dropped 16 percent. So either they're incredibly stupid or taking an oily black piss over thousands of square miles of marine and human life is natural for them. Either way, they'd make the perfect Batman villain. These guys are like Scrooge McDuck without the moral guidance of his half-naked duck nephews. In fact, if the US were to declare war on BP right now, it'd be the first time in 70 years that we would be 100% in the right. There's no denying it, we couldn't ask for a more popular war than if we ressurected Hitler.
This is plan B and it's not without merit.
And besides, when your villainous deed can be seen from SPACE, this is the point in the comic where Captain Planet starts existing and kicking your ass.
18 comments:
"And when you realize that this oil spill ALONE has done more damage to U.S. shores that every other war in history combined, then a pattern starts to emerge."
I have to ask: why the hell would wars hurt our shores? we've never had any big homeland wars against enemies since we declared ourselves a country. The only thing i can see hurting our oceans that relates to war would be a couple sunken ships back in the wars (thanks Dutch & French/Germans) in the 17 and 18 centuries, and the attack on Pearl Harbor.
Also, have you noticed that you hear almost nothing in the news about the spill anymore, even though we're closing in on week 10?
I was going to say something about how all our "awareness" doesn't actually do anything towards the cause, since most people who rant about BP on their blogs aren't the type to pack their bags and go scrub turtles for the weekend. But I decided not to put it in there since it wasn't fitting with the theme of "BP is a comic book villain" of the post.
Anyways, this was a comedy post, meaning I might have thrown that in there for a few laughs and to introduce the comic element. But since you're so curious, http://wiki.answers.com/Q/How_many_wars_have_been_fought_on_US_soil.
^That link is technically wrong about World War II, since both Hawaii and Alaska were still territories and territories count as US soil. If not, then both McCain's run for presidency back in 2008 was illegal (Panama). And now that we're getting into technicalities, US embassies also count as American soil, meaning every war that ever affected a US embassy ever counts too. Oh, and don't forget when the US tried to invade Canada and got raped for 30 dollars a night by the Mounties. Several times: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/War_of_1812#British_North_America_.28Canada.29
the first link was unfinished or something.....
and us invading Canada doesn't affect our SHORES, remember? Neither do attacks on our embassies.
My point was simply: bad comparison, lacks depth/ actually substantial anything-factor.
Actually, in retaliation to our invasion of Canada in the War of 1812, the Mounties rode to Washington DC and burned down the White House.
and i'm sure that did a bunch of damage to the marine life huh?
Actually, by shores I meant US soil.
Then again, depending on the situation, ashes might actually help stuff grow on soil.
so you said "shores", which you compared to the Shores affected by the BP oil spill, but you actually meant US soil.
Quick, somebody get the camera, I've got Jason in a corner with his brain noweher to be found! ;P
*nowhere
Then again: "And now that we're getting into technicalities, US embassies also count as American soil,"
..........helping prove my point ther bud.
Even if embassies count as US soil, that has nothing to do with the SHORES AFFECTED BY THE BRITISH PETROLEUM OIL SPILL.
Shut up and stop arguing semantics. By soil I mean US territory.
Shut up and stop arguing semantics. By soil I mean US territory.
"And when you realize that this oil spill ALONE has done more damage to U.S. shores that every other war in history combined, then a pattern starts to emerge."
so you meant, the BP oil spill has affected more of the coast life than any war has affected our soil anywhere?
good comparison, hombre.
I'm lost. I thought I made it clear somewhere along the line that by shores I meant US soil, and by US soil I meant US territory. So yeah, the BP oil spill has done more damage to US territory than every war in history combined.
i'd like to check a statistic on that is what i'm saying. I'd agree that the oil spill has probably done more damage to our shores than any war, but i dunno about American soil.
TERRITORY, Austin. US TERRITORY
And barring a war that caused an environmental disaster right in the middle of the US, I'm pretty sure it is.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/
environment/2010/jun/30/
biologists-find-
oil-spill-deadzones
http://www.visualeconomics.com/
cost-effects-of-the-bp
-oil-spill_2010-05-05/
http://www.nowpublic.com/
environment/bp-oil-spill-2010-
effects-could-be-felt-
europe-and-arctic-2619901.html&ei=
BkouTIvUB8TYnAfL-MTdDQ&usg=AFQjCNFdS
1dOd0GVKPaHkO6vvFU5D5eE7A
And keep in mind that most of those links are from more than a month ago.
do you like being a douche?
okay. he fudged. it's not literally soil, he wasn't clear, it meant US territory.
That's ALL you wanted to prove?
like to argue much? love the sight of what you typed?
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