http://www.nypress.com/article-21357-bored-game.html
You see before you the only negative review of Toy Story 3, ever. Now, I'm no expert on movie critique, but isn't Hamm the goddamn Piggy Bank one of the supporting heroes and has been since the FIRST Toy Story?
Yet "daycare center’s cynical veteran cast-offs: Hamm the Piggy Bank pig, Lotsa Hugs and Big Baby."
Dear Armond White: Watch movies better. Oh wait, here's his (positive) review of Jonah Hexand here's the next sentence of the review: "Besides,Transformers 2 already explored the same plot to greater thrill and opulence. " Correction- Dear Armond White: Watch better movies.
Anyways, since Austin found the source the guy I stole this from stole this from, I guess I should add my own opinion. At the end of the review, Armond White mentions how there were only two parts that made him laugh, which were the art references. Then he complains that "they never were expanded on."
No, Toy Story 3 didn't need to expand on these references, because JOKES DON'T NEED TO BE EXPANDED ON. AND THEY WERE JOKES. Jesus Christ, are you really a movie critic or are you a movie critic like the internet is a movie critic?
A little research (Wikipedia) leads me to Armond White's biography, where it says that he chose to become a movie critic after reading some book about a woman who hated popular movies and liking it. Let me get this straight: You decided to be a movie critic based on the sole fact that you liked contradicting people? There's a reason we don't go to Norwegian Black Metal concerts and ask the crowd to give us advice about culture.
Roger Ebert, or more commonly known on the Internet as "Roger Never-played-a-video-game-before-in-my-life-yet-dismiss-them-as-mediocre Ebert", at one point agreed with AW about his District 9 bashing. Then, he looked at a list of Armond White's favorite movies and hated movies.
Among the hated: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, The Dark Knight. Among the favorites: Transformers 2, Jonah Hex, Norbit, Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married?.
As soon as Roger "douchebag" Ebert saw this list, he retracted his support for Armond White and dismissed him as a troll. Now, if know me and my unhealthy obsession with video games at all, you'll know I'm kind of the opposite of a Roger Ebert fan. Yet, in this situation, I honestly don't know who I hate more. It's led to a bit of confusion.
Confusion.
4 comments:
you totally stole the "Watch Movies better" & "watch better ovies" from this dude's blog:
http://www.cracked.com/blog/a-review-of-armond-whites-review-of-toy-story-3/
I actually stole it from the guy ranting about it next to me in C++. But since he stole it from that blog anyways, I agree with you completely.
There, fix'd. And by fixed I mean I actually used my own opinion.
Of course, I actually steal jokes and/or research in most of my blogs. It's usually the result of the amounts of crawling through Google I do while writing the posts. I try to keep it at a bare minimum though.
Post a Comment