1) The average conspiracy theorist argues with NASA, the government, Nobel-prize winners, JAXA, Mythbusters, every scientist since the beginning of time, people who can read, and pretty much any expert on any subject they've decided to dispute despite having less qualifications in the area than an equally average fry cook.
2) For which aspect of rational logic they'll take a steaming [kensored] on next, conspiracy theorists either secretly meet and vote (making them the same as the organizations they hate) or they wait to see which one Dan Brown writes about next, no one's really sure.
3) Conspiracy theorists will make so many jumps in logic based on unrelated facts it's like they're playing the world's longest game of hopscotch every time they open their mouths (see: http://vigilantcitizen.com/?p=1676).
4) Conspiracy theorists are also [kensored] annoying and will alienate everyone they've ever met except on the internet (see above link, then read the comments section).
5) Like child porn and tentacle rape fetishes, conspiracy theories are horrible issues made much worse by the internet.
6) Conspiracy theorists view logical argument as cheating
7) Conspiracy theorists like to divide the world into "Everyone qualified/remotely related to the topic vs. Me". So like Rambo with [kensored] instead of bullets.
8) At the last count the world was secretly being run by the Illuminati, Knights Templar, Freemasons, Trilateral commission, New World Order, Skull & Bones society, Bilderberg group, Nine Unknown Men and the ever-popular Jews. Conspiracy theorists honestly believe that these invisible elites have run thousands of years of history but are incapable of killing someone who lives in a basement and shouts on street corners.
9) Conspiracy theorists display incredible attention to detail, an even more incredible ability to ignore details they don't like, in addition to obsessive focus and an irritating sense of self-righteousness. In other words, every time another person devotes his/her life to proving the moon landing was a hoax, we lose a potential powerful Pokemon Master.
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On to the topic that inspired me to write this post, 9/11:
For a very long amount of time, people have been claiming 9/11 was a total hoax/a government inside job/completely documented by a 20 dollar bill folded in a certain way. For that, we can all thank a teenager named Dylan Avery and his fictional-screenplay-turned-Spinal-Tap documentary, Loose Change.
The film is a rapid-fire collection of video clips set to techno music, attempting to prove that:
No plane hit the Pentagon - it was a cruise missile; the hijacked planes didn't bring down the World Trade Center, the buildings were wired with explosives ahead of time; flight 93 didn't crash in Pennsylvania and in fact landed safely elsewhere, and the passengers were in on the conspiracy.
But is it [kensored]? You decide (the answer is yes).
Here's how it all began:
Once upon a time, Dylan Avery was a gigantic attention whore minus the attention. His life's ambition was to become a famous director, so he sat down and started writing A FICTIONAL SCREENPLAY about 9/11, something he mentions in every interview he does (by the way, if you read page one of that article, he says "would love for someone to come to him and say he's full of [kensored]", something which the ENTIRE RATIONAL WORLD has been doing since he released his Spinal-Tap-esque "documentary", proving he follows Rule 9 above, and he also says "I have scientists on my side... and the government has none." I call major [kensored]).
So since he had no money whatsoever, he decided to cut up [kensored] of multimedia surrounding the subject until he raped enough of everything out of context until he got something that sounded scary enough. For example, he sifted through dozens of pictures showing hunks of airplane everywhere:
Until he got a picture with no wreckage anywhere and stuck it in his video: NO PHOTOS SHOW ANY EVIDENCE OF A PLANE CRASH
Now obviously, hundreds of people were in the Pentagon that day, dozens of witnesses saw a plane crash, hundreds of people cleaned up airplane parts and charred bodies, air traffic controllers saw the plane fly in on radar, pairs of light poles more than 20 feet apart were knocked over when the massive wings of the airliner mowed them down like grass. But that's okay. He's just making a fictional movie, it's all in fun.So he does the whole video like that. He cuts sound bites in half, saving the part where a flight instructor says something like, "I met the hijacker and he was a bad pilot," and deleting the part where the same guy says, "but you don't exactly have to be [kensored] Chuck Yeager to crash a plane into a building." Without that second part, it sounds like the guy is saying the hijacker couldn't have done the flying. He has literally edited the words to make the guy say the opposite of what he said. But then again, it was supposed to be a student film, his resume for the world, a viral video that would get his name out there. I have to admit, it was a great idea.
Until one day:
Phillip Jayhan ambles into Avery's life, waving around a wad of cash. Jayhan, who believes in a massive satanic cult that controls the world's politicians by sending them little boys to molest. Which could be true, but the point is, Jayhan paid Avery to market his fictional screenplay as a real documentary. Shortly afterward, Avery had a miraculous transformation that made him realize that holy [kensored], his fictional screenplay was real.
Now, you might scoff, thinking there's no rational reason for someone to knowingly market total [kensored] as fact, but then I ask you: Why do auditioners line up for American Idol (Lookin' like a fool with your pants on the ground!)? Where do Japanese game shows get all their contestants?
Why, in 7th grade, did Kathleen and I create this blog?
Because they want attention, and lots of it.
Now, since everyone reading this blog is in 9th grade at AHS (Edit: I forgot about Tanya, my bad. Three people left, then), they've probably spent a load of time learning about the Holocaust, right? Night, The Book Thief, World War II, The Angel of Bergen-Belsen, the Pianist, etc.?
Well, that seems to be a common theme amongst 9/11 truthers too. Dylan Avery and his [kensored] brigade aren't Holocaust deniers, no (in fact, here's them getting attacked by fellow 9/11 truthers for being Holocaust Promoters), but they'd certainly shift sides pretty quick if it meant getting more attention. After all, Dylan Avery, now 22-ish, is pretty much famous for marketing Loose Change, something he wrote as a fictional screenplay, as fact. If you don't believe me, pretty much every screen grab of a newspaper on Loose Change is from the American Free Press. Take one good look at it and tell me it's a legitimate newsletter that adheres to ethical journalism. It also has a legacy of anti-semitism. Like I mentioned earlier, ever-popular Jews.
And the credits of Loose Change feature research by Killtown:
Killtown, who should be noted, considers the Holocaust no big deal.
Those credits also include Christopher Bollyn, who should be noted that he was fired from American Free Press, the fucking nuts newsletter, for being too [kensored].
Oh, and here's Avery sympathizing with the passengers on the planes that got hijacked and blown the [kensored] up (not really).
Now there's my "based on hard research of the people who first claimed 9/11 was a hoax, 9/11 conspiracy theories are [kensored]" argument. Next, I'll post a "logical deduction of why 9/11 conspiracy theories are [kensored]" argument. And if I start now, the post should be released sometime around the rapture.
