3.31.2010

Textual Relationships

Have you ever noticed that more often than not, people say things online that they would probably never say to you IRL (in real life)?
Of course it is less pressuring and uncomfortable to slip a few extra kind (or mean) words to another netizen when you're not facing them. The worst retaliation they could muster is a reply consisting of a cluster of text (perhaps returning the favor), or if the situation is negative, they can simply avoid responding and sign off.
The way you express yourself online is sooo much more more limited than physical confrontations.

Think about how effortless it is to type in "You are a slugabed" to someone on AIM. Think how easy it would face the response whilst sprawling on your plush armchair, sipping a soda, and listening to Pink Floyd.
Now if you said that to someone IRL, the reciever has a variety of ways to respond- they could glare, yell, shove your soda up your nose, etc.

You miss out on a lot when you have meaningful conversations via text.

I've really disappointed at how it is so easy for people of all ages to unrealistically communicate over the web. There's almost no way to shun it- at one point or another we all do it.
We get lazy socially and take the easy way out (or in).

I've said things that I shouldn't have said using the Internet. I curse more on the webs. Heck, I've confessed to a guy on AIM when I was in 6th grade. (Trust me, there are worse things being said via text nowadays. /shudder) It was absolutely idiotic, and I've come to regret it. I've learned to regret a lot of things I've said via text, and I think that's the major consequence of this whole text business- if you say something to someone over the Internet that you wouldn't say in person and stumble upon them in person, it's quite uncomfortable.

And yet I still do it sometimes. There are even individuals whom I talk to more ONLINE than IRL. Yeah, I have an excuse because I don't have as much time to hang out with living beings that are not constructed out of fine wood, but it's still a pity, and I know that back then when I had a life that happened too.

The message I'm attempting to convey, is not to stop using gmail, fb, AIM, etc, but to be smarter than the tool you are using. Use the phone if it can't wait. Maybe establish mutual feelings/opinions/etc. in person before replicating it on an email. Comtemplate on whether you'd really say whatever to whomever you're talking to- face to face. And if not, forget it.
Have some courage, guys.
Have some courage, Kat.

...And for goodness sakes don't be like Carrie:



Actions speak louder than words.

3.30.2010

Complacent Violins

Yes Jason, I couldn't make a violin-related title without using an Anberlin reference.
(EDIT: Yikes. I started this post on the tenth.)

So, I've been very busy with the violin...

(This was from March 10th:) I was #41 on the waiting list for a competition that I've been preparing 2 months for. Apparently the 40 applicant limit was met within the first two weeks that it opened up, and my app was sent in two late considering it was only 2-3 weeks before the deadline. On the bright side, that's one less thing to worry about, and my preparation wouldn't have been in vain because I have a masterclass for the Saint Saens the day after anyways.
EDIT: The masterclass was decent. The apparently world-renowned Almita Vamos thought well of me. Unfortunately a lot of the stuff she went over were problems that I was already aware of, but was too noob to remember. I was really nervous too. :|

...
Back to the future now. I mean present.
So as of now I am literally scrambling to get my chamber music act together, because I'll be performing the Martinu in Carnegie Hall next week. Much to my mild surprise (and perhaps yours too), I've realized that I'm apprehending it more than being ecstatic. Hey, it's a fabulous opportunity and a great experience, but my piece is quite a challenge and I'm simply not mentally, if not artistically, ready. (Gee, I'm pathetic.) This is quite a leap for me, as the most prominent venue I've ever performed in before was... well it was so insignificant that I can't even name any. (Zipper Hall, perhaps?) And now it's Carnegie Hall across the country. This means I will have to work towards perfection- something that I rarely brush upon...

Besides the nerve-racking NYC tour, I have to go live on the radio with my OTHER chamber music group. Once again, yay fantastic performance opportunity but I am just not feeling confident. If you want to hear me fail, tune in to Live on KCSN 88.5 FM “Live From LACMA” on
Sunday, May 2nd, 2010 @ 6pm. Listen for the Mendelssohn Trio in E minor.

Honestly I've just been lacking a lot of confidence lately. I have lost the zeal for a lot of things. Don't get me wrong; I love the life of a violinist but sometimes I wish I could take a break. I'm tired.
Lucky for me though, things will start to wind down in May when all the major concerts are over.
-Tanya Yang. We will hang. I promise.