4.30.2009

Boy to Man to Boy; Supernaturals vs. E.T.'s

*apologies; haven't been posting lately due to some trips out of state and a violin competition in which I achieved no place. But that's okay, I did my best and had fun, right?


17 Again





Before you jump to conclusions, I'm letting you know that this was the most convenient showing that was available when I arrived at the movie theater (in LV again).

Anyhow, 17 Again is another typical storyline featuring a grown guy magically turning young again, gets used to pubescent body, finds reason of anti-aging, procures love again...etc.
Except here, a middle-aged guy about to divorce supernaturally becomes his former high-school self via a "spirit-god", and helps his teenage kids hook up (and break up), and makes up to his wife at the end.
Wait, that sounds familiar...

As for the movie;
PROS:
-The occasional laugh. The sporadic genuine bits of humor are actually...humorous!
-The plot has a steady pace. There aren't dead spots.

CONS:
-The extremely typical storyline. Didn't I mention that already?
-The stereotyping is overly exaggerated, though that pretty much goes for all movies involving a school. Ragh.
-Contrary to TIME's analysis, Efron doesn't exactly mature as an actor, as another pro-basketball, social, wins-all-the-girls character.

-An overall meh.


Monsters vs. Aliens
...



...Pulled the last string in watching animated movies for me.
Seriously, it barely met my expectations.
Of course, the occasional genius like WALL-E will bloom, but
goodness, MvsA sucked.
Even in 3-D!

The plot was very childish, though the script tried to entertain its adult audience with references like Area 51, Al Gore, and "What would Oprah do?".
It phailed, nevertheless.

4.28.2009

lol

http://www.time.com/time/specials/pa...886141,00.html

You know Time Magazines article for the top 100 most influential people? Well, I just noticed something about...




MARBLECAKE



THE GAME


Lol'd at marblecake.

4.23.2009

EPIC FACE PALM

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4.22.2009

Satire has returned.

Time to poke fun at some old news I find hilarious.

Obama scolded Wall Street, which was a mistake. Wall Street is full of a lot of things, but shame isn't one of them. Take Merril Lynch for example.

While his company was getting Merril Lynch'd, he spent a fortune on many, many neccessities, like a toilet on legs. Unrefined people just don't understand the value of a toilet that walks to you, hmmm?

Well, he apologized. I commend him, because poor people love apologies. That's why you say "sorry" when you're ignoring a beggar on a street. (lolk)

Well, a Wall Street executive sold his house to his wife for 100$ and moved in with her. This is brilliant, because after that, the smartest thing he could do is sell his wife to his boat, his boat to his jet, and his jet to his dog.

And for something kath and I have been laughing about:

Since 1910, the Boy Scouts of America taught kids many important lessons, including loving their Earth. But then it was discovered that Boy Scout heads have been making millions off of high-impact logging. That's right, they hug trees so tight it turns into plywood furniture. But at least they get some nifty badges!

-The Hypocrisy Badge.
-The Causing an Apocalyptic Hellscape Badge.

The latter will cause them to become resourceful and learn to start fires not with the apparent friction of two sticks, but the apparent friction of what they say, and what they do.

Boy Scouts of America, I salute you. In your face, Boy Scouts of somewhere else! (lol, no offense intended there)

Well, the end is near. Jesus, I'll see you in the Arby's I'm assuming we'll both be working in this economy. What's that, you want a lot on your plate? "Cook, give me a meal Obama Style!"

we win

So we all know how global warming works right?



Your CO2 reacts with your Ozone and you get this atmosphere that locks in the heat from the sun which will make the temperatures on Earth grow higher every second until we are all roasted. Well thanks to science we have now invented a way to convert all of this CO2 into usable energy in the form of Methanol.

Researchers from the Institute of Bioengineering and Nanotechnology have discovered a way to convert your regular old CO2 to Methanol using an abundant gas called N-heterocyclic carbene (NHC).



April 20, 2009 Scientists at the Singapore-based Institute of Bioengineering and Nanotechnology (IBN) have made an unprecedented breakthrough in transforming carbon dioxide, a common greenhouse gas, into methanol, a widely used form of industrial feedstock and clean-burning biofuel. Using "organocatalysts", researchers activated carbon dioxide in a mild and non-toxic process to produce the more useful chemical compound.
This way we can take the thing that is destroying the Ozone and convert it into an environmentally safe fuel in Methanol. How cool is that?

Source: http://www.gizmag.com/research-carbo...ethanol/11483/


/copypasta

English Honors Testing 4/22/09

Saturday at the Canal by Gary Soto

I was hoping to be happy by seventeen.
School was a sharp check mark in the roll book,
An obnoxious tuba playing at noon because our team
Was going to win at night. The teachers were
Too close to dying to understand. The hallways
Stank of poor grades and unwashed hair. Thus,
A friend and I sat watching the water on Saturday,
Neither of us talking much, just warming ourselves
By hurling large rocks at the dusty ground
And feeling awful because San Francisco was a postcard
On a bedroom wall. We wanted to go there,
Hitchhike under the last migrating birds
And be with people who knew more than three chords
On a guitar. We didn't drink or smoke,
But our hair was shoulder length, wild when
The wind picked up and the shadows of
This loneliness gripped loose dirt. By bus or car,
By the sway of train over a long bridge,
We wanted to get out. The years froze
As we sat on the bank. Our eyes followed the water,
White-tipped but dark underneath, racing out of town.

That's the one Anon and I were given. Time for some Google:

The Restless Dreams of Youth

Regardless of class or place in society, all people dream of a better place; some dreams are unattainable. [p1] In Gary Soto’s poem “Saturday at the Canal[p2] ,” the speaker and his friend sit by the edge of a canal, dreaming of a better place. High school holds no meaning for the speaker and his friend. They desire to be away from the set expectations of their hometown and dream of all things new. [p3] These boys, this voice of discontent, express a deeply honest theme. Essentially, some dreams cannot be fulfilled during the teen years. Soto creates this thematic landscape through the use of metaphor and vivid imagery. [p4] Through the use of metaphor, Soto brings the poem to a symbolic level, going beyond the literal image of two friends and their desire to leave town. [p5] In the initial reflection of the speaker, high school is decribed as “a sharp check mark in the roll book…”(Line 2). Here, the image of a sharp check mark captures the sameness of the speakers experience at school. Kids are not individuals, they are merely marks in a teachers book, meaningless in the long run.[p6] Additionally, the boys’ dream of escape. Soto writes, “San Francisco was just a postcard / on a bedroom wall” (Lines 10-11). San Fransisco is set up at the place, the dream, the boys want to attain, a place where “people …knew more than three chords / on a guitar” (Lines 13-14). The postcard metaphor turns a city into a bit of paper and ink rather than an actual possibility for the speaker and his friend. [p7] These metaphors develop the depper message of the poem—the message related to unattainable dreams. Imagery, vivid words written to engage the senses, is present throughout the poem. The speaker and his friend are described as unsatisfied. They “hurl large rocks at the dusty ground” (Line ). The image of a pointless activity captures the pointless, frustration thoughts the boys are having. Another image is that of “loose dirt” (Line ). The loose dirt seems to suggest a poor foundation, a place where the inhabitants are looks to lose the weak foundation in order to find new ground. The desire is unavailable.In conclusion, the image of boys and their unfulfilled dreams is powerful Finally, Soto ends with a summative image or metaphor: “Our eyes followed the water, / White-tipped but dark underneath, racing out of town” (Lines ). Like the water the boys look the part of seventeen-year-old students, but their true selves remin dark below the façade of the teen image.


Discuss.

Yeh-ric and I basically came to the same analysis about the poem, which was what was above. Two boys who wanted to escape from their town, and go to a faraway place. (I also mentioned that the speaker wanted to do so before he turned seventeen, but forgot to ask Eric about it)

Ihopethatthegraderhasthe"whateverinterpretationyoucomeupwithhasakerneloftruthinit"mentality.

Poem from the other Honors Test, contributed by Bill (InternetHateMachine):

Break
Dorianne Laux

We put the puzzle together piece
by piece, loving how one curved
notch fits so sweetly with another.
A yellow smudge becomes the brush of a broom, and two blue arms
fill in the last of the sky.
We patch together porch swings and autumn trees, matching gold to gold. We hold the eyes of deer in our palms, a pair of brown shoes. We do this as the child
circles her room, impatient
with her blossoming, tired
of the neat house, the made bed,
the good food. We let her brood
as we shuffle through the pieces,
setting each one into place with a satisfied tap, our backs turned for a few hours to a world that is crumbling, a sky that is falling, the pieces we are required to return to.

The stanzas and stuff got totally screwed up.


This is an analysis on Google.

"In the poem 'Break' by Dorianne Laux, the image of putting a puzzle together is used to compare the way of life of the family. The shape of the poem looks like a piece in a puzzle, by the combination of long and short sentences. The title 'Break' is significant as we can see that the time spent doing the puzzle is relaxing, and enjoyable. The pun of the word 'break' is also important as its gives the idea that the family is broken and in pieces just like the puzzle. The descriptions of the puzzle are drawn out which make the reader eager to know what the picture of the puzzle is. The diction in the poem is simple which is important as the poem is about problems with the child, which is the key of the poem, and so through using almost child like diction it brings attention to this. The first half of the poem seems blissful however the tone changes in the second half to be more haunting and negative.

The poem starts with 'We', which confers a feeling of togetherness and illustrates how they work together and gives a feeling of closeness. The enjambment in the first line, of 'piece by piece' however provides a visual picture of the pieces in the puzzle being separate and all over the place. The emphasis of the pieces fitting 'so' sweetly accentuates the idea of how perfectly the pieces fit together and the alliteration of 'so sweetly' adds a soothing, comfortable tone to the poem and gives the idea that they are content as they do the puzzle.

In the fourth line, the exaggerated contrast of the smudge and the broom which the almost miraculously transform from a 'smudge' into a 'broom' emphasizes how comforting it is to be able to correct things. The problems with the puzzle are exaggerated and give the idea that they are godly as they fix them. The idea that the sky has gaps and needs to be filled up connects to the previous idea of trying to solve problems. The personification of the sky having 'blue arms' ties the poem closely to their human problems with their daughter. They 'patch together porch swings' sounds as though they really are fixing the swings. The idea that they are able to patch 'autumn trees' in a literal scene seems so peculiar an so brings attention to the idea of how efficient they are.

The image of them holding the 'deer's eyes' in their palm is a striking image as it gives an almost gruesome picture of the deer's eyes in their hand.

The phrase 'a pair' is left at the end of the line, which brings attention to the expression and emphasizes the feeling of being close.

They match 'gold to gold' which gives an autumn feel and the repetition shows that there are lots of pieces. The 'brown shoes' also contribute to the autumn feel.

They do the puzzle as 'the child circles the room', this seems as though it's a reverse of roles and instead of the child doing the puzzle and the parents watching it's the other way around. Their child is described as 'the child' which immediately shows that they feel very distant to their daughter as they do not use a possessive pronoun such 'my'.

'Impatient' and 'tired' are put at the end of the line, which emphasizes that the child feels very miserable. The child's growth is described to be 'blossoming' like a flower, which contrasts with the child's unhappy feelings, to the beauty and delicacy of her innocence.

The 'neat house', 'made bed' and 'good food' gives signs that the parents are trying to have control of something as they cant with their child. The assonance in 'good food' emphasizes how faultless things are in the house, which contrasts the relationship the parents have with their child.

They let the child 'brood' while they 'shuffle through the pieces' which gives the idea that they despair about what to do and so take their minds of it by correcting something that they can do. The word shuffle signals to their uneasiness, and gives the picture that they are fiddling and nervous. 'Pieces' also gives impression of incompleteness and being broken.

They then put the pieces into place wit ha 'satisfied tap' which shows that it makes them happy to know that they can do something right.

The idea that whilst they do the puzzle the world around them is so different and is 'crumbling', 'falling' apart is parallel to the previous descriptions of the puzzle.

The word 'crumbling' shows that their life is not very solid and is very fragile.

'The pieces' in the second last line is an image to describe the problems that they are faced with and also gives the idea that they feel in pieces.

The alliteration of 'required to return' emphasizes how they feel trapped and have no choice and brings the poem to a dramatic end."

^tl;dr

4.14.2009

Jason, you're a genius

Yes I am, me, yes I am.

Also, I located the problem. It was a shot of bad HTML done by Kat over there. HAI KAT!

Got rid of it with help from a guy named T E D (stevens har har har).

So yeah, thanks!

Also, there's a scheduled server downage on Thursday, so... yeah.

I can restore the sidebar now. (Kat, restore the sidebar please/ :D)

Jazznkat Maintenance.

Yeah. Maintenance. We recently discovered our blog does not run at all on any browser except in Mozilla Firefox. So now, our resident SpazJaz will be tinkering with the page.

4.12.2009

Pirates these days don't go ARRR anymore

"(CNN) -- U.S. forces killed three pirates Sunday and rescued cargo ship Capt. Richard Phillips, held hostage in a lifeboat since Wednesday, after seeing him in "imminent danger," a senior defense official told CNN. [...] Three of the pirates on the lifeboat with Phillips were shot and killed, the official said. A fourth pirate was aboard the nearby USS Bainbridge negotiating Phillips' fate when the shootings occurred, he said. Phillips offered himself as a hostage after the pirates stormed the U.S.-flagged ship Wednesday morning, according to Maersk. The pirates retreated to the lifeboat with Phillips, leaving the Alabama with its crew.

At the White House, President Obama issued a statement saying he is "very pleased that Capt. Phillips has been rescued and is safely on board the USS Boxer."

"His safety has been our principal concern, and I know this is a welcome relief to his family and his crew," Obama's statement said. "We remain resolved to halt the rise of piracy in this region. To achieve that goal, we must continue to work with our partners to prevent future attacks, be prepared to interdict acts of piracy and ensure that those who commit acts of piracy are held accountable for their crimes.

As the sailors described their clash with the pirates, a crew member pointed to one shipmate and said, "This guy is a hero. He and the chief engineer, they took down the pirate. ... He led him down there to the engine room, and then they jumped him." The shipmate added that he stabbed the pirate's hand and tied him up. "Capt. Phillips is a hero," another crew member shouted from the deck of the freed ship.


Okay, maybe I'm just weird but what of the pirates? Don't they have a life as well as the captain?

I am very well aware of their evil and cruel deeds, but couldn't this have been solved w/o the deaths? Esp. when the 4th pirate was in a negotiation?

Maybe I am extremely ignorant and perhaps naive, but I'm just disturbed by the media's bias.

Enlighten me.

Easter! :D

Easter not just marks a day in which these critters:
roam (/b/ ROFLMAO) and whatnot, but more of the day in which Jesus rose from the dead!
For those of you unfamiliar with this, after Christ died on the cross for our sins and was buried in this seemingly unescapable tomb, He resurrected like He predicted and was epic win.

Uhm, the Biblical text may be clearer than I am...:
"thar wuz violent earthquaek, 4 an angel ov teh lord came down frum heaven an, goin 2 teh tomb, rolld bak teh stone an sat on it. his appearance wuz liek lightnin, an his clothez wuz wite as snow. teh guardz wuz so afraid ov him dat they shook an became liek ded doodz. teh angel sed 2 teh women, "do not be afraid, 4 i knoe dat u r lookin 4 jebus, hoo wuz crucifid. he iz not her; he has risen, jus as he sed. Come an c teh place wer he lay. den go quickly an tell his disciplez: he has risen frum teh ded an iz goin ahead ov u into galilee. Thar u will c him. Nao i has told u." so teh women hurrid away frum teh tomb, afraid yet filld wif joy, an ran 2 tell his disciplez. suddenly jesus met them! "greetings," he sed. They came 2 him, claspd his feet an worshipd him. den jesus sed 2 them, "do not be afraid. Go an tell mah brothers 2 go 2 galilee; thar they will c me." - Matthew 28, LOLCAT Bible (http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Matthew_28 )


LOL jk.

Here's the authentic reference:
2There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. 3His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. 4The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men.

5The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. 6He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. 7Then go quickly and tell his disciples: 'He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.' Now I have told you."

8So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. 9Suddenly Jesus met them. "Greetings," he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. 10Then Jesus said to them, "Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me." (Matthew 27 *from the NIV for sake of clarity)

What's really awesome is that after all this commotion, Jesus said,

"18...All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them ina]">the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." (Matthew 28)

4.10.2009

Now THAT is a screwed up relationship (Page 5)


Finished it. That wasn't as hard as I thought, but I was eating cereal and spilled a bunch of milk on my keyboard, so in the middle, I had to go replace it.
RIP Keyboard, 2006-2009

4.09.2009

You know, that's probably happened before. (Page 4)


Ugh. That was a complete BS of a job. Spent ten minutes on it, most of it talking to people on AIM :D

4.08.2009

Distracted kat is

easily distracted.

Ragghhhh

Now with 100% more product placement! (Page 3)


When can I get to the comedy?
Also, check out our new chatbox, in case any of you actually read our blog. THAT'S RIGHT! I'M LOOKING AT YOU!

4.07.2009

Hey, that's my heart! Mine! (Page 2)


Page 2
Wow, this really IS emo.

4.06.2009

Spaztastic Miniseries!


First ever miniseries for Spaztastic? An idea that popped into my head last week. I'll be updating once every day, ending on Friday.
So, did anyone get the Oscar Wilde and Final Fantasy VII reference? No? Crap.