12.31.2009

Last movie hop of 09

My sis and I ripped AMC off of a total of $30. :3


SHERLOCK HOLMES

Holmes would have been borderline to meh if it was not alleviated by Robert Downey Jr's impeccable acting- the slightly zany and extremely logical personality was perfectly embodied. Downey is your ideal modern Sherlock. Watson, his right-hand man, was excellent as well.
I am not aware of how reliable this film is to the original books, for my memory has disposed of mystery novels long ago, but as a movie, it passes my standards. Although a little tedious when Holmes analyzes the moves that he'll inflict on his enemy, the action/violence (LOL) is fair.
All in all this was a good movie, but nothing more.




AVATAR
...in my opinion, was disastrous.
First off, the movie was too long. I lost my interest halfway, and wanted to doze off near the finale. Please, don't ever make 2 hr 40 min movies unless they are pre-approved (BY KORPORATE KAT).
Secondly, the plot was too far-fetched. Before you flame me, I know this is a fantasy/scifi/whatever movie, and of course things will get a little irrational! On the contrary, my mind likes to function logically, and having a battle in which one party has hXc machine guns and explosives, and the other with bows and arrows and some colorful animals who actually WIN is not logical. (E.g. Native Americans vs. European settlers, GER vs. RUS in WWI, IMPERIALISM, etc.) Aiyaiyai.
Thirdly, the villain and the villain's goal was too cliche. It was disappointing.
On the bright side, if you're a fan of fantastic visuals, go for it. Pandora would be breath-taking if you lived in it (esp. by night!).



UP IN THE AIR

Although Up in the Air had superb actors/actresses and very thoughtful meanings/morals, drama on the whole does not appeal to me. I'm sorry, but I cannot stand drama. If I did though, this would be an excellent drama film. The plot is well-contructed and paced, the characters performed beautifully, and for a lot of us, the message of the story is a wake-up call. So yes, I would recommend this IF you like this genre.

12.26.2009

In a pointless attempt to fill the increasingly empty "New Posts" position

So anyways, today, I gathered up all the games I ever felt "meh" about including:
-Prototype
-Ghost Recon: Advanced Warfighter (never actually played it)
-A bunch of other games I never cracked open.

And got my brother to drive me to Gamestop to sell them off and get some new/interested in games.

So, being the Asian I am, I went directly to the used section and rifled through them to get a discount. I picked up a discounted Modern Warfare 2 and a used TES 4: Oblivion. I also noticed that there was a used Prototype in there that cost 44 dollars.

MW2; discount added: 50 dollars
TES4: Oblivion; used: 15 dollars
So, while I waited in that line listening to two 30-somethings, a man and a woman, obsess about L4D2, MW2, and Assasin's Creed 2 as if they were the gift of God to man on a golden chariot of kittens in front of me and two wangsters pretending to be hardcore computer engineers by day and l33t h4x0r5 by night ("I totally overclocked my 50 gigabyte RAM card and my GTX 9800 man, and when I was using assembler [wut] to do it, it was like totally hardcore mang.") behind me, I wondered why Gamestop had such a crappy reputation with everyone who's ever gone there. I mean, the line was ten minutes long and an employee actually came up to me and offered to carry my stuff and hold it for me until I got to the check-out counter without any attitude at all, and the enviroment was friendly enough. One other employee actually offered to dig out a display copy of MW2 and sell it to me at used price when they found out that the used disk was covered in some brown sticky goo.

Then, when it was my turn to buy the games, the manager came out and started processing everything, including the two gift cards, the store credit from all the sold games, and the discount I they were offering on MW2 from 12/26-12/28. He asked me for thirty dollars. I was confused, because the two games cost 65 dollars after all the discounts. The gift cards were ten dollars each too, so surely the five games I traded in covered the rest of the cost? I asked to see the transactions. He showed them to me, and I looked at it. Up at the top: "Store Credit from Resale Games: 14.68". Yes, the five games, including Prototype, which they were selling USED for 44 dollars got me fifteen dollars in store credit. I just sold them five games they valued an average of thirty five dollars a piece for three dollars each, and they nearly neglected to tell me.

Yes, thank you, I will come again. And I'll bring something else too. :D

On a lighter note:

12.17.2009

Back! After Dying and Reincarnating Into a Reindeer Just in Time for the Holidays

I am sorry for the delay of this post. I put a lot of effort into this one, so hopefully that'll make it up. I'm also ditching math hw for this so APPRECIATE ME.
Also I may edit this later when I forget to mention something; I'm writing this off the top of my head. A lot happened to me so far!

..
October was crazy. The finals, most importantly, drove me into a fit when I realized I had to study for a final for a class that I just popped in two weeks prior. So that was the cause of most sleep deprivation. Along with that I had two auditions, two weeks within each other for chamber music programs armed with Bach and Sarasate. Both events fared pretty well; I pwned the finals and was accepted into both programs with plenty of benefits to reap...(Going to Carnegie Hall with my JCM group in April!)

I also attended my first (partial) football and second baseball game.
Actually, I went to AHS vs. BHS just for band's last field show (and my first), so I only saw a snippet of footballing, which was rather intriguing considering the fact that I have zip knowledge of ftbll besides "TOUCHDOWN". We were winning when I was there, but started losing when I left. Ha!


Baseball, it seems, is much more exciting live than on the telly...
The ear-splitting crowd and high expectations and tension is ambient throughout the stadium.
I went to the championships- Angels vs. Yankees (media pass woo!). It was literally packed- the massive parking lot was a sea of cars.
Angels was obviously getting creamed every single inning, but I enjoyed THE GAME nevertheless.


November didn't exactly start off with a bang. I entered a high level music competition and returned with nothing. Of course, my parents were disappointed and wanted push me more than they were. In the traditional Chinese way of thinking, to improve is to work harder. And the work harder is to invest more time into something. My dad brought up homeschooling again, and took me to a homeschooling expert to try to sway me. You guys know that I wouldn't succumb.
Thus, my dad created a schedule that I had to follow every weekday. Here's how it goes:
12:30-1:30: Get home from school; nom.
1:30-4:30: violin
4:30-5: practice ballet
5-6: more violin
6-7: nom, some "free time" that will actually be piano time
7-9: more violin more more more
9-10:30: homework
11: curfew- in bed, lights out.

The rigorous enforcement of this spartan lifestyle was far from what I wanted... But with threats of homeschooling, I could not refuse.
As of now, the schedule became a habit, and I am actually getting a lot more done.
However, I am sapped of energy practically everyday. Give me 5 hour energy for Christmas guys :v

Speaking of ballet, I started taking classes! It's more fun than it seems- after all, it is a dance correlating with MUSIC. I'm still a noob, but my awesome instructor is amazingly patient and helpful, so I'm catching up!

On a different note, I attended Lang Lang's recital in Walt Disney Concert Hall and it was breath-taking. Some people say that his playing is prodigal in terms of expression, but I believe that his dramatic interpretations should be the golden standard for not just pianists, but all musicians.
I also got an autograph and a picture with him later that evening... I'll put the picture up when I finally figure out how to get it from cell-> computer without a USB cord (no emails either!). Grabbing the opportunity, I asked Lang Lang, "What do you think makes you different from other musicians?" He responded, bewildered, "I don't know! I hope I knew!" /facepalm One question wasted arghhh!

The highlight of December so far for me, was my first opera @ Dorothy Chandler Pavilion in the LA Music Center. I saw the Barber of Seville by Rossini and it was very entertaining! Spongebob and popular media leads us to think that opera singers are composed of overweight ladies in queer costumes belting out industinguishable screams, but it is so much more than that.
The way I see it, opera is simply a musical play/story told with a lot of opera singing. It is not much different than the modern musical, besides the obvious. (Subtitles are needed b/c the opera is in Italian)
The Barber of Seville centers around a young, handsome count, "Lindoro", and his crush, the ward of evil Doctor Bartolo- "Rosina". Frenzied with love, Lindoro (Count Almaviva) is desperate to meet her, and finds a trusty friend to aid him- Figaro, the barber of Seville. Together, they plot to trespass the palace under surveillance by Bartolo to meet Rosina, which is highly amusing in the process (it involves Lindoro acting as a drunk soldier).
Upon viewing this, I was quite surprised how silly and hilarious 18th-century Italian operas were... In fact, I loved it! Take me to an opera anytime!
I highly recommend seeing this, even though it's quite expensive for a decent ticket. It's worth the experience down to every penny. The acting, music, and the beautiful stagecraft are just so win.

Speaking of plays, I went to the AHS "Noises Off!" by the ADD (Advanced Drama Department). Though the acting could've been more controlled- I am perpetually appalled at the high level of our arts department- first the superior performance by band, and now this.
Maybe the cause is low expectations from middle school, lawl.


I am so blessed to have participated in so many events. In fact, I am really lucky.
Life would be perfect if it weren't for the plagues of high standards from my parents and my diminishing progress in violin. My intonation is stuck in a rut and my fingers just don't seem to correlate.

Speaking of violin, I have to cut this post now and go practice.
In my next post, I'll detail the AKC dog show I visited on my bday and maybe some of my current repertoire, but it might be a while before that appears due to 2 v. lessons, 2 recitals, and 2 rehearsals coming up for me in the next 5 days.

Keep in touch (no matter how busy I am)! :3

12.13.2009

Happy Birthday to the only person who lets me fill the JazznKat with crap nobody likes

Okay guys, since we totally forgot about this, let's all wish Kathleen a happy birthday now and pretend nothing happened, kk?

12.11.2009

12.01.2009

Why Internet Gaming is Riddled with Jerkwagons

Because people are a load of crap.

Other human beings are basically unreliable. If you play with them online they're an unknown quantity: Internet connections can drop out at any time, hacks and exploits are always viable, and ragequit IS an option.

When you play online with someone, you're not a human being to them. You're just another little mewling voice in the magic box of secrets. If you're not in the same actual room, poised to punch them in the face, only their entertainment matters. You might as well just be an AI bot that swears. Surely playing against an actual AI bot might be preferable. They might get stuck in corners a lot, but at least they'll never ragequit when their entertainment starts to waver. "Oh, balls, I've just tried to kill the same person six times in a row and got my sore backside punted as a result, I think I'll do the logical thing and QQ about it for a couple of minutes, and then quit the game, while at the same time insinuating someone's sexuality." "Neither do I need to make any amount of SENSE on the internet, no, there isn't actually anyone trying to READ my comments on the other end of the tubular series."

I'm a believer of Penny Arcade's Greater Internet -censorinfearofgettingdeleted-wad Theory: "Ordinary person + audience + anonymity = -jerk-wad." I would suggest a few alterations, though, such as removing the "+ anonymity" part. And the "+ audience" part. The default state of all human beings is -douchewagon-, which is quelled by facing real life repercussions and just looking like an asshole. So -smileyface-s on the Internet aren't just jerkwagons, they're cowardly ones.
____
Written because the gap between posts is way too big for my liking. Not brought about by any recent events, though one of the ones I mentioned up there actually happened while I was playing a custom game on WC3. I should get back to my homework now.

11.22.2009

The Saddest Part About Twilight's Popularity

Is that it never actually had to happen. To elaborate, a few months back, Summit Entertainment's publicity machine made a big deal out of its first group shots of the "New Moon" werewolves. In any other film, this would mean a flaunting of either CGI creations or actors in extensive makeup appliances. In Twilight, however, this means a handful of young male actors, bronze-skinned and as Andrew Sun would say, beautifully sculpted curvaceous body of an angel (although I'm not sure if he was talking about Taylor Lautner or Taylor Swift, really, it's hard to tell with that guy), standing around looking aloof and mean. Response?

"lulfgt", "vampires don't sparkle, if you sparkle in the sunlight, you're a crappy fanfic character; if you burn up and die a slow, agonizing death in the sunlight, you're a vampire", "what the hell, vegetarian vampires? aren't you still killing animals? what part of that is vegetarian?", and "werewolves turn into human-like beasts, not actual wolves, dammit"

In Twilight, werewolves are humans who flash-morph into truck-sized canines, so they go about shirtless and in sweatpants so they can quick-strip and avoid having to constantly buy new clothes. Of course, we all know exactly why this happens: the Twilight engine runs on (heterosexual) female lust, and having it work this way allows author Stephanie Meyer an in-plot excuse to send a whole team of tanned, toned boys galloping near-naked through the woods. It's fetishism and objectification; nothing more, nothing less.

In other words, the same thing that the rest of the entertainment industry has been doing to its female characters since the first Greek scupltor stepped back from his marble magnum opus of a rendition of Aphrodite, the Goddess of Sexuality(/LOVE), took a good hard look (I accidentally a whole triple entendre) and said "Maybe those could be a little bigger".

And you know what? If we even tried to attack the point, we'd probably disprove our OWN explanations and excuses every bit as shaky and transparent as Twilight's nonsense about its wolf men's limited wardrobe budget: "In this future, spacesuit-polymers can be skin-tight and sufficiently-protective!" "Her costume has what amounts to a cleavage-window because she's still deciding on a logo!" "Female ninjas probably would use their sexuality as a weapon!" "Women in medieval-fantasy don't need to armor anything but their nipples and crotch, cause their fighting-styles rely on looking hot!" "JEDI PRINCESS SLAVEGIRL PRISONERS!"

It's the same principal by which Tyler Perry has made his ill-gotten fortune: Hollywood has done such a poor job in creating entertainment that appeals to the African-American middle class that almost any sufficiently well-marketed entry into the void was going to turn a profit. Just as Perry's terrible films stake their claim by being the only game in town for black audiences looking to see their community onscreen in something other than a low-end comedy shoot-em-up; Twilight offers younger female genre fans a world that, however shabbily-constructed, speaks to their perspective, experiences and fantasies (yes) in a way that almost nothing else on the radar does.

Now, am I saying that all this context somehow justifies Twilight? Hell, no! In a way, I think it makes it worse. Stephanie Meyer is giving salted meat (HI AUSTIN) to an audience that's dying of thirst in the desert. Plus, they're driving down the value of the genre even further by occupying it. Anyone trying to pitch a good female-centric supernatural romance franchise will inevitably have their work compared to Twilight and taken less seriously as a result.

11.11.2009

Heh.


Makes me laugh a little, no apparent reason.

Left is Gustavo Dudamel, conductor of the LA Philharmonic, right is Alan Gilbert, conductor of the NY Philharmonic.

11.03.2009

Individuality






me: non-conformity sucks

Kathleen: nope it does not

me: "hooray I am expressing my individuality in a blatantly conformist way"

"i wear black eyeliner and I'm not a girl! I'm such a rebel"

me: "my clothes manufactured by a multimillion dollar franchised company show the conformists who's boss" Kathleen: ?
me: "my zune stuffed with norwegian black metal that everyone else listens to screams that my soul is individual, along with every other soul who listens to this ridiculous genre"
-
.
Oh look, five Ayn Rand fans in the same place. Must be a convention.

Violin Phail

On a rare occasion, disaster strikes the concert hall. When that happens, the soloist is obliged to trade instruments w/ the concertmaster.

1)

2) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=StBe3m4gI2g (
embedding was disabled >:O)

3)

4) Pros do it too;

11.02.2009

Ninja Turtles and Brittle Seahorsies

Sorry about my inactivity- I simply have too much on my plate right now (literally too). I make more posts when violin work cools down for me.


There is something awfully peculiar about my tortoise, Wamu. Well it's repeatedly somehow surmounted that double fence as shown in the photo above. I've always checked the obstruction for loopholes, but apparently my tortoise can divide by zero and fly/climb/jetpack around it. There's nothing special beyond that gate either- it's just a dilapidated shed containing a ladder, lawn mower, some Christmas decorations, and the air conditioner generator thinger. It's fenced off because it's easy for a tortoise to get lost/stuck in a jumble of misc crap. (Perhaps Wamu is dating that lovely rusting green ladder off to the side, but I'd rather not speculate.) I'm thinking that Turdy here must be some sort of Japanese espionage agent; don't you agree? (Actually there is a loophole if Wamu uses brute force and pushes through the slightly bendable white fence, but then it'd be Super-turtle.)


Another revelation that I've had, is that boiled seahorse soup is absolutely putrid. As I've been telling an awesome person a moment ago, my parents have been feeding me remedies that will "surely" make me grow, in a new fit of panic over my height. As if metallic-tasting, peach-flavored Asian calcium tablets weren't enough.
Today, they cooked me a fat bowl of the "delicious" soup. One sniff and sip was enough to provoke a queasy stomach for the remnant of the day, but no- I had to eventually "drink" the entire
portion. It consisted of a bitter, beige watery liquid and some chicken, but it all tasted like what fingernails would taste like if you made soup out of that. I came up with a decent strategy to ingest the delightful stuff: cram a handful of peanuts and anything else w/ a pungent flavor into my mouth, and slurp as many gulps of the soup I can through a straw. My record is 3! Unfortunately, I have to go through this chronically until I grow two inches. Hopefully I'll get used to it and not have to nom a pound of chocolate afterwards to mask the aftertaste.
(Poor seahorses. >:)

10.30.2009

Why you shouldn't bother with online prize sites.

I was invited to Prize Rebel, Rewards 1 or something like that, and Lockerz, each when they first started by, various friends, but I guess I'll focus on Lockerz because it'll be fun to write about a variation of those survey sites. You know those sites, they're the ones where you fill out a billion questions on a billion different pages to get a free iPod after ten billion surveys, quizzes and questionnaires.

But Lockerz isn't like that, it's a different beast. It's a kat in banana's clothing.

One of the first things you notice about it, is that it's pretty well made. Shit load of AJAX? Check. Snazzy new boots? Check. False sense of security? Check, check, and check.

The first bad thing you notice, though, is how self consciously awkward the site feels. It's like when your third cousin who lives in Hong Kong wants to buy you a birthday present, and all she knows is that you're male, 14, and you live in America. So she gets you a football, because that's what all 14 year old males who live in America like, right? Well, Lockerz does the exact same thing. They've latched onto the whole generation Z thing, and gone wild with the letter Z. Lockerz, PTZ, whatever. Even the videos they post of themselves are terrible. Calling themselves the Lockerz "crew", wearing a scruffy top, a backwards cap and taking a dog to work? Who are they kidding?

Whatever. You probably know all that by now.

Why you shouldn't go there. You remember the questionnaire sites, things like Prize Rebel? They work by gathering a lot of data on everything about you, and stuffing it into their databases, then selling it to clients who want to target their crap at you. These databases swell to crazy sizes, and contain everything you ever said about yourself, and then some. They probably know your favourite social media sites, toothpaste, and what food your cat likes.

The end result is that if a company wants to sell more of their cat food they find out what age groups are buying it most and where, then they can target specific stores. Then they use that information to target even more groups, thus completing the stalker circle of life. If most have high incomes, then it's not worth putting a lot of adverts on public transport. If most prefer MySpace over Facebook, then it's not worth spending as much on Facebook adverts. It's either that or they do the opposite, and mass target the people who aren't buying it yet.

Sites like Prize Rebel have a big flaw, in that nobody wants to give them real information. Most people who use them on a regular basis probably fill in bogus information, and for the database of media companies, this is a nightmare. Who could tell that John Doe has several thousand birthdays, and likes everything from extreme canoeing to self help books? Lockerz solves this problem, by hooking them in with small questions, one day at a time, using reverse psychology. This or that? Yes or no? Small comment, please? Oh, and don't forget your address and age bracket? What about this demographic form? Can you just check off the races and income brackets you aren't? Then to keep people from buggering off, they add videos and other such nonsense.

I don't want to live in a world where people are constantly selling me things, things I don't want and probably don't like. So please, tell Lockerz you like hot sauce in your banana cream pie, and your cats deep fried, and that your real name is John Shazzlehazzle.

10.26.2009

In-Orchestra Review

Vertical Concert, our songs are very boring. I just realized Mr. Morton wasn't a bad conductor, just a terrible teacher. Foothills rushed on their first and last song. First Ave. is the new Foothills in terms of suck, of which oozed out of their f-holes (technical term, I swear). Some junior threw a stink bomb at Chris Lin's feet and he "wisely" decided to run over to where Orchestra 1 was sitting, next to every single AHS person in the audience. People six rows from us were covering their noses.

Orchestra 1's songs are very boring, did I mention that? Being a first violin didn't alleviate the boredom at all, Kathleen, you LIED to me. First Ave played Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap, they didn't do a good job of covering up the random silences that come up every two measures, because their song was passive and quiet to begin with. Also, they were out of tune. Mr. England and Mr. Forbes really get into conducting when their Orchestras actually know what they're doing (Mr England conducting Orch III looked like he was doing some rave 70's disco dance from the audience's perspective)

All in all, I'm bored and typing this instead of finishing my history homework.

Un-Orchestra Review

So my day totally crashed today when I texted DEBAN at 8pm to ask how far it was into the Vertical Concert because I wanted to go, even if it was for an hour!
And Deban said that they were "finished".
Disappointed, I moped around for a bit.
Then he was like "FMS is playing now lol"
and I was RAGEEEE
because he meant that ORCH 1 was finished in the first place.
And I could've watched for an hour.
And I could've watched FMS and Orch 3 perform.
But now it is too late.
/crycry

10.18.2009

.

Ah, so
I just got a performance off my shoulders.
Phew.
EXCEPT I STILL HAVE A COMPETITION IN 3 WEEKSASDFASDKFH

Anyways, I'm looking into more extra-curricular classes. I know that I'll be taking ballet for sure- my teacher and mum urged me to, so I agreed. I bet I can pick up quickly, if I can remember past lessons from 4th grade. :V
I also want to try jazz- it looks so elegant and graceful- something that I an in dire need of (I spill, knock over, or break something at LEAST once a day).

I also want to sample competitive sports for once. The only catch is that I cannot strain, overuse, or risk breaking my hands/wrists/arms. My right hand is an exception. (Tendonitis usually occurs in a violinist's left wrist/lower arm.) I've considered soccer, swimming, and fencing, but I am not aware of any more.

So the question that I have for you guys, is:
What sports (however uncommon) would be healthy for a kat? (That means no risk whatsoever on limbs that are used in violining.)

10.15.2009

Update

Ah, finally some time to create a decent blogpost.
Well not really, because I'm 40 mins behind my schedule but I really need to sort out what has happened to me in the last few weeks because it's been one heckofa rollercoaster.

Let's start with my chamber music program auditions. I prepared Sarasate's Romanza Andaluza and Bach's Presto from Son. No. 1 that I've been working on for forever, for JCM and YMF.
JCM went fine, and I played decently.
The YMF auditions were quite a fiasco, however.
Last Katurday, I planned to arrive at the venue of the auditions (UCLA) at around 2- almost 1.5 hrs before my turn with the judges. Traffic delays and difficulty finding the music building resulted in me getting there half an hour later than what I expected. But no worries- I still have an hour to warm-up and chill. I extricated a stack of sheet music from my bag and- how funny- I FORGOT MY PIANO MUSIC FFFFFUUU-
So my mum was srsly freeaaaking out and I was like ohsnap and my pianist was like geeyou'redoingitwrong. I ran all over campus in my babby heels in search of libraries so I can print out the music from the public domain but THEY WERE CLOSED (due to AIDS).
Thus, I had to suck it up and play unaccompanied.
And it rather went well. According to my mum, the Bach was the most intune that I have ever played. :3
I have yet to recieve notice of acceptance or phail from either programs, but I'm crossing my fingers and stalking the program coordinators to pressure them (lolno).

Despite all this, my lovey dovey parents decided to put another slab of nice, fat, pressure on me.
Apparently, they thought that my ratio of school:time spent on practicing was ftl. My dear mummy and daddy really wanted me homeschooled so that I can bid my social life farewell and practice 8 hours a day.
Er, not going to happen.
I tried to find a compromise, and came up with an idea that was not likely to work, but still had some meager resemblances of hope. I arranged an app. w/ the principal, and requested a shorter school day. That meant that I would get out of school at lunch, which allotted 2-3 hours of extra violining. My parents consented, but only if I could get home at noon.
And you know what?
THE PRINCIPAL AGREED WEEEEEOOOOOO !
Hallelujah, my prayers were answered.
Invariably, my mum still wants me to get homeschooled, but HAHAHAno.
Lol, so I cut P.E. and orch (my elective), and switched English from P6 to 3 w/ Schultz.

Unfortunately...
I have to make up about 100 terms and 10 stories for Eng.
I'm not playing in the school orchestra anymore, nor will I be part of orch. trips.*
I'll have something reminiscent of a social life, but nothing more (I won't be staying for lunch most of the time).**
I am losing friends in the process.**

but you know what?
I'm cool with all that, because I know that with homeschooling, I'll be off worse.

As of now, I am mulling over my schedule for the following month, and that includes another competition in early November, which means that I'll have to pick up the Mendelssohn again.
Crash course, initiated.
Wish me luck guises.


*(Please help me in dispelling any rumors that I quit orchestra because I'm not concertmaster, or that I do not like the director. Or anything that contradicts what I've written. This article should be enough proof. Report to Vannasdall if you need more.)

**I might be getting a Facebook (because I'm so lonely), but it'll have to be in a few months, because the only comment people are going to be posting on my wall now would be like "zomg wry r u outta school erly" and I'd rather them forget about it (or me) and say "ohai kat you're still aliev watsup" instead.

10.13.2009

WE WERE FAMOUS (for a split second)

Remember my post a few months back about Shoot The Banker? (http://jazznkat.blogspot.com/2009/05/shoot-banker-com.html)
Well its owners posted a video on Youtube...




Cut the crap and go to 2:42.
You'll see the JnK for a semi-second as the websites flash by...
WE'RE THE NEWEST FAD ON THE INTERNET!!!
OH YEAAAAUHHHH

10.12.2009

Pokemon wut?

This is not my idea. I do not know when or where this theory was created, I just know someone out there has a lot of time on his hands.
_________

Have you ever noticed that the pacing, tone and story development of Pokemon changes after Ash is hit by lightning in the early episodes, how Ash and his world were relatively normal until after the incident?

I have a theory.

The accident with the bike put Ash into a coma. Days later he was found and was hurried to the hospital and treated with heavy medications, which is why Team Rocket became less menacing. The medication took effect and stabilized his coma dreams so that instead of being terrifying, they became idyllic, allowing him to live out his Pokemon master fantasies.

After the beginning episodes, the series is the result of Ash's subconscious mind fulfilling his desires, as well as attempting to escape reality. Should Ash realize he's in a coma, he would wake up, but suffer brain damage, so he must take down all of his mental barriers one by one until he can come to grips with who he is and escape his coma (since his mind will not allow him to escape until he's come to terms with himself).

Further evidence comes from the realization that even though his journeys take him vast distances, he never travels on a bike due to having developed a phobia.

The coma and fantasy explains why he doesn't change much physically. It also explains the worldwide socialism, as he thought up a safe system of government that would run smoothly and keep the world going, allowing his adventures to work like they do. It also explains how a child can go off on his own into a world full of dangerous and untamed animals, and why town has the same police officer and every Pokemon center has the exact same nurse. Joy and Jenny he knew from his hometown, and they act as a safety net or anchor, allowing him to feel safe no matter where he goes. Joy and Jenny represent stability. The professors represent Ash's ideals, which is why Gary became a professor. The fantasy also explains why every time he enters a new region, virtually no one has heard of him, despite his conquests. How could Paul, the rival of the Sinnoh area, not know of someone who has placed in at least the top 16 of all three leagues and has destroyed the Orange League and Battle Frontier?

Moving on to the characters closer to him, Ash's traveling partners are aspects of himself that he can enjoy, but doesn't like to associate with himself. Brock is Ash's repressed sexuality. Ash fell into the coma a virgin and needed an outlet for his growing sexual frustrations. Since he can never experience sex, Brock must never succeed. But Brock isn't just a projection of Ash's sexuality, he is also a projection of Ash's fatherly instincts. Brock leaves his siblings to journey with Ash because Ash can't cope with having that much responsibility at his age. Brock's stay with professor Ivy was an attempt to outright suppress his sexuality. You may notice that James got much more dialogue in this part of the series, as well as getting more touchy-feely with his Pokemon and exposing most of his backstory. Ash didn't enjoy this much, which is why Brock comes back horrified and refuses to speak about it (Ash's subconscious was repressing him at the time, so other than a general feeling of dread, he has no idea of what happened). Further evidence of Brock being Ash's sexuality is that he keeps returning to the series after Ash meets a new girl aspect of himself.

Misty is the first such aspect we encounter. Because she is the first and because she is merely an aspect of Ash are explanations for why Misty plays so prominently in the show but is ultimately unattainable (because he never really knew her before the coma). Since Misty is his initial love interest - if only subconsciously - he needed her to reach a certain level of womanhood. He felt that people could only have relationships after they've matured. In practice, though, he finds that he can't cope with it (lacking the real-world experience) and wants the normal pushy, arrogant Misty he knew, thus not letting her keep Togepi. We can see this arc in the constant berating of his sexuality (Brock), but her eventual mellowing until she had faded into the background. Since Ash was quite attached to her, this was traumatizing and after this experience, anyone around him "threatening" to mature quickly ends up leaving for another, more naive fill-in.

Gary Oak is what Ash wants to be. He is wish fulfillment. He succeeded, and then settled down to a normal life. Ash needs someone to succeed in his world or he won't be able to validate it and will start questioning why he is where he is. It's a subconscious trap to keep him from becoming too aware of his situation. His mind must have figured out that awareness of the coma would snap him out of it, but it would cause brain damage, so it took something the boy already loved and built a way out for him with it. However, Ash is too complacent to make a final stand and fight his way out of it, and so cannot escape. This is why he keeps encountering Legendary Pokemon. They're his mind's way of showing him he can do great things if he tries, and it's a way to encourage him to push forwards.

Team Rocket are the qualities of himself that Ash deems "negative" but is coming to terms with. Jesse and James want to appease Giovanni, Ash's father figure, and Jessie will trick the submissive James into doing her bidding to achieve this. Meowth especially wants to appease him because he remembers the good times with Giovanni. This places Meowth in a category known as Ash's (corrupted) innocence. This is apparent because Meowth is able to speak. In fact, the whole reason Meowth can speak is so that Ash can eventually accept the aspects of Team Rocket as parts of himself.

Ash has issues with his father, so he put him atop the evil corporation and demonized him. There may be an actual Team Rocket (in the real world) but it's doubtful that Ash's father is their leader. Ash likely feels that the split between his parents was partly his fault, but also partly blames his father. The split caused his mother to move out of the city, down to Pallet Town and is one reason why Ash initially embarks upon the journey: to escape the turmoil at home. But the whole organization, including Butch and Cassidy, is symbolic of his inability to escape his father's machinations.

James is implied homosexuality (which does not necessarily make Ash homosexual) and gullibility, and Jesse is vanity and manipulation. Since Meowth has the potential for rehabilitation, and doesn't want to be evil, this once again fits in with the conflicting personalities and demonized-self theory. Team Rocket cross-dresses because Ash is exploring his sexuality (a different facet than what Brock represents) and this was a method that allowed his gay/vain side to experiment freely. When he found that it wasn't something for him, his "free" side stopped playing with it.

Max came with May. He played the ego and she played the id with great aspirations in that "session". They worked for a little while, but with Ash being a teenager, his sexuality had to come back into play. He kept reinventing himself and eventually wrote new aspects, but his mind slowly brought the old ones back as a crutch to make the transition easier.

Dawn is Ash giving himself a chance to love. Since he already established Misty as someone he's not likely to go anywhere with, he created a new super female, one that was more like him, and less violent. You may note that while both May and Misty had no tolerance for Brock, Dawn seems to try to shrug it off.

Tracey, the Breeder, was a possible future for Ash that he discarded. This future was one that he sent off to work with the professor (Ash's ultimate ideal of a father figure) when Tracey disrupted the dynamic Ash had with his other possibilities. With Ash's mind fighting the coma and Ash viewing this person as a companion, Tracey was quickly replaced with a more threatening rival.

Pikachu represents Ash's humanity, hence the episodes where they get separated and Ash wants desperately to find him, even to the point of working with the Rockets (aspects of himself he would never normally associate with) but for some reason cannot. Team Rocket want to steal Pikachu and hand him over to Giovanni. Jesse and James will always oppose Ash because Ash is terrified of the thought of his humanity lying in the hands of his father. However, this is the same reason that he will work with those aspects of himself in order to save his humanity from just becoming flat out lost. Ash couldn't evolve Pikachu because that would mean challenging his concept of who he was, which was something he wasn't comfortable with while still working through his original issues.

The narrator is Ash's higher mind, recapping and explaining the progress he's made and the tribulations he will face, allowing itself insight into how best to awaken him.

Team Rocket's methods gradually become more and more ludicrous because Ash is only a child dreaming these things up. That is why Team Rocket's disguises are always believed. He knows it's them (at least on a subconscious level), but chooses to ignore it so that he can better himself. In a sense, the Ash who wants to escape is sabotaging the Ash who wants to stay lost in his mind so that there can be more conflict, and hopefully an eventual escape. The escape being a consequence of coming to terms with who he is, as, mentioned previously, Team Rocket are a method for Ash to deal with grounds he's uncomfortable with tackling on his own.

You may recall that early in the show there were animals and references to animals. For example, the fish in the aquarium of the Cerulean city gym, or that the Pokedex lists Pikachu as "rat-like". These animals don't matter to Ash's psyche so they don't come into play much. If Ash had loved puppies, everything would be about different breeds of dogs, and a dog fighting circuit, but as the series goes on, you see fewer realistic animals and more Pokemon. This could be a sign of Ash's mind deteriorating. As he's in the coma, he's losing concepts of some animals and machinery and replacing them with Pokemon. It could explain things like electric Pokemon working as power generators; these are signs that his memory of the old world is slipping more and more as time goes by. The Pokemon realm will be idealized continuously the longer he has no stimulus from the real world. Ash may or may not be mentally deteriorating, but he is becoming more accustomed to his fake world's rules. The wild Pokemon are his rationalizations for the functioning of his created fantasy. It's the "a wizard did it" syndrome. If he doesn't know how it works, his mind says Pokemon.

The Pokemon in Ash's team, however, serve the purpose of displaying his issues and aspects of himself. For example, Charmander represents his sex drive (not his sexuality, like Brock). At first it's a cute, easy thing to control, but eventually becomes a raging inferno of disobedience since Ash has no real understanding of his sexuality and thus has no way to vent or keep it in check. Bulbasaur was his unwillingness to change, reflected in when it declines to evolve and almost decided to stay behind unless he battled it. Squirtle was his willingness to follow the lead of others, as evidenced by the gang it ran with. Even though he ran the gang, they were viewed as one group, and Ash's subconscious just gave him the strongest one. Butterfree was his crushing loneliness, which he dealt with when he released it to join a flock. His bird types are his recklessness, always willing to sacrifice something at a moment's notice for the win. When Ash is trading Pokemon, it's an attempt to push his own problems away on someone else. However, he realizes this and usually trades back fairly quickly.

Not only are Ash's Pokemon a manifestation of different parts of himself, the Pokemon of other trainers are as well. Koffing and Ekans were symbolic of Team Rocket's willingness to change, hence their evolutions. Once his mind was able to overcome that roadblock and allow them to change once, it gave him the chance to truly change.

An interesting note is that Pupitar is a rationalization: a Pokemon that a rival caught before he met him. Even Ash would become suspicious if everyone he met had no carry-over from previous places he had been to.

Other trainers are more direct forms of his issues - ones that he must either come to terms with or outright suppress. Gym Leaders are more primary aspects of his personality, with each Pokemon being stronger than the last, to display a level of skill he could be capable of if only he gave into it. In effect, he is doing battle with a part of him that he would rather not have in control. Originally, Ash had the battles, which evolved into team battles and contests. The explanation for this is that his issues became more and more complicated, and the means of dealing with them needed to become more complex. The fact that he uses issues that he has already dominated to win these are signs that he's growing stronger.

Ash releases his Pokemon because his mind is forcing him to let go of them. The second he raises an overpowered team, a tournament comes up, and after fighting his way through it he has to go to a new land for new challenges. But with an overpowered team, there won't be any challenges, and no way to motivate him further, so the part of Ash that wants to stay in the coma and keep journeying releases his solved issues so that he can continue and overcome the unresolved ones. This is essentially his mind forcing him to deal with his issues.

Ash's rivals and the Elite Four are ultimately the strongest part of this cycle. Having Pokemon that are essentially godlike, they represent both what can be attained and what is unattainable. Ash's rivals are all possible future he envisions for himself (note that they are all older than him). This originated with Oak, someone Ash knew from real life and built up into a sort of god within his mind, but Oak progressed and changed to suit Ash's vision of himself and his ultimate desire, eventually settling down into a professor role after beating the Elite Four. With Gary Oak in retirement, his mind needed a new rival for him, thus the births of Richie (the good aspect of his rivalry) and Paul.

Paul is his mind's last ditch efforts to snap him out of this, to force Ash to actually come to terms that this perfect world is not the best option or path to waking up. Paul is Ash's shadow, one that wants to push on even harder and harder, and the part of him that will stop at nothing to escape this coma world.

Mewtwo is a new form of treatment, done with electric impulses and a machine to knock Ash out of it, taking down every last one of his mental guards (the original Pokemon in the movie). In Ash's mind, Mewtwo and his clones were (in the real world) the treatment for the mental safeguards that were protecting Ash and keeping him comatose: the Pokemon of his world. The clones were counters to the issues that Ash had thought solved, and so each appeared to Ash as the exact copy of his defense. The clones didn't play by the rules of Ash's world, they didn't use any special Pokemon attacks or moves - they just beat down their counterpart through brute strength. The treatment was working.

There were side effects. The electric jolts were beginning to affect Ash's nervous system, and if the treatment continued, he would be paralyzed. His mind manifested this in the dreamworld by petrifying him. Were it not for the end of the treatment by Ash's mother (who knew her son wouldn't want to live in a world he couldn't explore), Ash would have remained as stone forever. After this, Ash needed to recover from the damage caused by the electric therapy. In order to reduce the danger Ash's consciousness felt from it, his subconscious began downplaying the effects of electricity in his world, which is why Pikachu's electric attacks - once noted for their strength by Team Rocket - no longer have any effect on Ash, other than comic relief.

As we can see, Ash may well have been trapped forever in this world. But like every dream, like everything, there is a beginning and an end. What would happen if Ash never recovered? In his hospital room, we see Delia, obviously distraught, talking to a doctor with a grim look on his face. He's saying that their insurance is up, and the boy has had no change in brain activity for seven years. That the shock of taking him off life support has a very small chance of awakening him.

She tearfully agrees.

Back in Ash's world, he has finally defeated the Elite Four, and one by one, the people around him start disappearing. Eventually, everything is black. Pikachu comes dashing towards him, glowing brighter and brighter in the darkness. Eventually he reaches Ash and the two embrace one last time.

Back in the hospital room, his life signs fading, Ash mutters his final words.

I...want to be...the very...best...

He will die, never having known his dream, except as naught but a dream. When he came back to reality, he knew it all for the lie it was, knew it as his imagination. Knowing that his efforts, ambitions and friends were nothing, he will let go.

As he utters his final phrase, he barely opens his eyes and sees the silhouette of his mother, her face hidden by her hands wiping away tears. They make eye contact, and one final realization fills him before he loses all strength.

He sees that his mother was holding out hope that he'd recover all that time. He sees her and finds that her hope had been broken as she'd come to the realization that she'd outlived her only child. He dies knowing that he is loved, but that it means the one person closest and most real to him is utterly crushed.

10.07.2009

Lack of posts due to THIS:

Hey, sorry I've been leaving my dear, starving, mourning readers out in the bitter cold, deprived of any bodily nourishment or human contact amongst a dreadful, dreadful world of wolves and lions. Because I have been...
MINECRAFTING!*

Admire the beauty of pixelized landscapes on minecraft.net

Minecrafting is a professional online sport where you can build virtually anything out of blocks, or simply explore the surrounding landscape and other player's masterpieces.

Creativity is highly encouraged and respected by griefers.

Using your mouse and WASD for navigation, you can walk (or fly if you're pro) through land, water, or lava, and interact with other players via the Multiplayer option. The only thing that's pretty lacking in MC is that you can't smash the other guy's face in when they manipulate/mutate your piece of artistic architecture. Sorry.

Skydive, one of the servers, offers skydiving. Go figure.

I highly encourage you to engage in this extremely entertaining piece of Internet that will suck hours out of your productivity and force you dig really, really deep holes and perhaps make a castle/island/stairway into heaven that will inevitably be distorted/destroyed by some sadistic griefer. Happy Minecrafting!


*well actually I've been preparing for two auditions and a wedding (sarasate+bach), so more violin more more more.

10.06.2009

When Jason tells the world that he is posting tomorrow

He means coincident with the rapture.

10.01.2009

Back from a state of Schroedinger's comatose and uncomatose.

"Why?" You ask. "Why must our favorite blogger whom we worship like a cat sent from the heavens above to teach mankind the folly of violence be a vegetable full of potential, where if we were to check if he were a vegetable or just a fruit, he would become a vegetable?" You ask these things along with your lifelong questions of "Maybe Jason's just forgotten us" or "Did Jason forget that Kathleen has been yelling at him to post for the last month" or "Am I a bad person if I eat bananas" or "Why don't nice girls like me?"

To answer those questions in no particular order, yes, because you're unlovable, absolutely, hell yes, and fruitcake.

But fear not, loyal-to-a-fault readers, I have risen above the state of vegetation and have become the mighty banana tree, king of all flora AND fauna.

Theoretically, that is. I mean, there's still time for me to procrastinate until I can't procrastinate any more and then find myself bogged down by other matters. But hopefully, when Kathleen invariably deletes this fragment blog of mine, it will be replaced by either a recap of high school life or maybe just some bullcrap pulled out of my C4 hiding place.

I mean, I've had Halo: ODST sitting around for like more than a week now unopened, so for all you know, tomorrow there could be a review up here. Then again, while I'm fantasizing, I'd also like a cheesestake, sixteen hours straight of gaming time, and a flying kitten that projects golden harps.

9.29.2009

Q.E.D., suckers.

Although Christians shouldn't be taking classes taught by an athiest in the first place, I found this quite amusin' even though I see fallacies on both sides.
[Stolen from Spaz from Jaimz00rz from Book of Faces.]


"LET ME EXPLAIN THE problem science has with Jesus Christ." The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand. "You're a Christian, aren't you, son?"
"Yes, sir."
"So you believe in God?"
"Absolutely."
"Is God good?"
"Sure! God's good."
"Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?"
"Yes."
"Are you good or evil?"
"The Bible says I'm evil."
The professor grins knowingly. "Ahh! THE BIBLE!" He considers for a moment. "Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help them? Would you try?"
"Yes sir, I would."
"So you're good...!"
"I wouldn't say that."
"Why not say that? You would help a sick and maimed person if you could...in fact most of us would if we could....God doesn't."
[No answer]
"He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?"
[No answer]
The elderly man is sympathetic. "No, you can't, can you?" He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax. "In philosophy, you have to go easy with the new ones. Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?"
"Er... Yes."
"Is Satan good?"
"No."
"Where does Satan come from?"
The student falters. "From... God..."
"That's right. God made Satan, didn't he?" The elderly man runs his bony fingers through his thinning hair and turns to the smirking student audience. "I think we're going to have a lot of fun this semester, ladies and gentlemen." He turns back to the Christian. "Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?"
"Yes, sir."
"Evil's everywhere, isn't it? Did God make everything?"
"Yes."
"Who created evil?"
[No answer]
"Is there sickness in this world? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness. All the terrible things - do they exist in this world? "
The student squirms on his feet. "Yes."
"Who created them?"
[No answer]
The professor suddenly shouts at his student, "WHO CREATED THEM? TELL ME, PLEASE!" The professor closes in for the kill and climbs into the Christian's face. In a still small voice, he asked, "God created all evil, didn't He, son?"
[No answer]
The student tries to hold the steady, experienced gaze and fails. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace the front of the classroom like an aging panther. The class is mesmerized. "Tell me," he continues, "How is it that this God is good if He created all evil throughout all time?" The professor swishes his arms around to encompass the wickedness of the world. "All the hatred, the brutality, all the pain, all the torture, all the death and ugliness and all the suffering created by this good God is all over the world, isn't it, young man?"
[No answer]
"Don't you see it all over the place? Huh?" Pause. "Don't you?" The professor leans into the student's face again and
whispers, "Is God good?"
[No answer]
"Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?"
The student's voice betrays him and cracks. "Yes, professor. I do."
The old man shakes his head sadly. "Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen Jesus?"
"No, sir. I've never seen Him."
"Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?"
"No, sir. I have not."
"Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus... in fact, do you have any sensory perception of your God whatsoever?"
[No answer]
"Answer me, please."
"No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't."
"You're AFRAID... you haven't?"
"No, sir."
"Yet you still believe in him?"
"...yes..."
"That takes FAITH!" The professor smiles sagely at the underling. "According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son? Where is your God now?"
[The student doesn't answer]
"Sit down, please."
The first Christian sits...defeated.
Another Christian raises his hand. "Professor, may I address the class?"
The professor turns and smiles. "Ah, yet another Christian in the vanguard! Come, come, young man. Speak some proper wisdom to the gathering."
The Christian looks around the room. "Some interesting points you are making, sir. Now I've got a question for you. Is there such thing as heat?"
"Yes," the professor replies. "There's heat."
"Is there such a thing as cold?"
"Yes, son, there's cold too."
"No, sir, there isn't."
The professor's grin freezes. The room suddenly becomes very quiet. The second Christian continues.
"You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit 273 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold, otherwise we would be able to go colder than -273°C. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it."
Silence. A pin drops somewhere in the classroom.
"Is there such a thing as darkness, professor?"
"That's a dumb question, son. What is night if it isn't darkness? What are you getting at...?"
"So you say there is such a thing as darkness?"
"Yes..."
"You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something, it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light... but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word. In reality, Darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker and give me a jar of it. Can you... give me a jar of darker darkness, professor?"
Despite himself, the professor smiles at the young effrontery before him. This will indeed be a good semester. "Would you mind telling us what your point is, young man?"
"Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with and so your conclusion must be in error...."
The professor goes toxic. "Flawed...? How dare you...!"
"Sir, may I explain what I mean?"
The class is all ears.
"Explain... ohhhhh, explain..." The professor makes an admirable effort to regain control. Suddenly he is affability himself. He waves his hand to silence the class, for the student to continue.
"You are working on the premise of duality," the Christian explains. "That for example there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science cannot even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism but has never seen, much less fully understood them. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, merely the absence of it." The young man holds up a newspaper he takes from the desk of a neighbor who has been reading it. "Here is one of the most disgusting tabloids this country hosts, professor. Is there such a thing as immorality?"
"Of course there is, now look..."
"Wrong again, sir. You see, immorality is merely the absence of morality. Is there such thing as injustice? No. Injustice is the absence of justice. Is there such a thing as evil?" The Christian pauses. "Isn't evil the absence of good?"
The professor's face has turned an alarming color. He is so angry he is temporarily speechless.
The Christian continues, "If there is evil in the world, professor, and we all agree there is, then God, if He exists, must be accomplishing a work through the agency of evil.1 What is that work God is accomplishing? The Bible tells us it is to see if each one of us will, of our own free will, choose good over evil."2
The professor bridles. "As a philosophical scientist, I don't view this matter as having anything to do with any choice; as a realist, I absolutely do not recognize the concept of God or any other theological factor as being part of the world equation because God is not observable."
The Christian replies, "I would have thought that the absence of God's moral code in this world is probably one of the most observable phenomena going, Newspapers make billions of dollars reporting it every week! Tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?"
"If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do."
"Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?"
The professor makes a sucking sound with his teeth and gives his student a silent, stony stare.
"Professor. Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?"
"I'll overlook your impudence in the light of our philosophical discussion. Now, have you quite finished?" the professor hisses.
"So you don't accept God's moral code to do what is righteous?"
"I believe in what is - that's science!"
"Ahh! SCIENCE!" the student's face splits into a grin. "Sir, you rightly state that science is the study of observed phenomena. Science too is a premise which is flawed..."
"SCIENCE IS FLAWED..?" the professor splutters.
The class is in uproar. The Christian remains standing until the commotion has subsided. "To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, may I give you an example of what I mean?"
The professor wisely keeps silent.
The Christian looks around the room. "Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's mind?" The class breaks out into laughter. The Christian points towards his elderly, crumbling tutor. "Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's mind... felt the professor's mind, touched or smelt the professor's mind? No one appears to have done so." The Christian shakes his head sadly. "It appears no one here has had any sensory perception of the professor's mind whatsoever. Well, according to the rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science, I DECLARE that the professor has no mind."
The class is in chaos.
The Christian sits.

9.21.2009

The Punch Brothers

FTW!



Their other stuff are ingenius as well.

Flu Paranoia



I've honestly never contracted the flu before. (Nor have I ever gotten a nosebleed.) For whatever reason I am blessed with this miracle, I am glad, because that's somewhat of a relief if my immue system is just that darn good barricading against Mr. Frank Flu (totally made-up), considering the universal apprehension of the incoming FLU SEASON.

Nobody is really "overreacting" in California, which is quite an achievement when we are right on par with Mexico and folks on the other side of the planet in Egypt have executed thousands of piggies before a single H1N1 case have discovered there. Unfortunately, when school resumes for us minors, the risks of us spreading the love of the virus is not insignificantly low. (You should sit in my Alg 2 class sometime- it's like a well-conducted chorus of sniffles and sneezes!)

The antidote to contagious diseases are the usual: wash your hands (for >20 SECONDS, mind you), sneeze/hack into your elbow, avoid touching any part of your face that has an opening..etc. I have taken akin to toting around a bottle of hand sanitizer around with me, and lathering that good stuff profusely onto my paws compulsively (c wut i did ther :3). I am doing this because my sister just might have contracted some sort of sickness that MAY BE RELATED TO THE FLU, contributing to the fact that several kids in her uni have already been kidnapped by El H1N1. Plus, I just recovered from a sore throat that lasted less than 24 hours. BUT A SORE THROAT NONETHELESS.

So perhaps I'm overreacting now, which is quite rare if you know me. (I have a long criminal history with the institution of hygienic/disease phobias. Wait that didn't make any sense-) But maybe that should be justified, because 60% of Americans arenotworriedaboutthisandthisperfectlyhealthygirlinOhioorsomewherediedfromit. The consensus of doctors and other people in medical positions claim that H1N1 acts just like a regular flu, and unless you are pregnant, diabetic, have asthma, a babby, aged .5-24 years old, very elderly, or are a total n00b, you shouldn't be too distressed. Yeah, that severs a nice bulk of population, mm?


Okay, I'm going to get the flu shot ASAP.



ohh, also visit my other blog @ rosyshams.tumblr.com. No angst guarenteed; it'll just be photos and music. Yippee!

9.20.2009

Test Blurb



Has anyone noticed how stringent testing policies at AHS are? I'm sure that this is necessary to deter any possible forms of cheating, but it just annoys me because I'm just a freshman.

Loads of people copy homework, anyways.

One kid in my chem. class asked to see a worksheet of mine.
Then I noticed that she started copying it.
I snatched it away, of course.

In Chem., the instructor was constantly yelling at people standing too close to each other when inspecting an array of tools to name.
In Alg. 2, a kid was scolded for having a pencil box on his desk, and another had the teacher fetch a tissue for her.

I'd just like to grab em and shake them by the shoulders (if I was tall enough) and yell,
"CHILL!!!1!"
but most likely they'd just say in return,
"THIS IS SRS BUSINESS!!`1`!!~11"

Also,
http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/dhs_sets_security_alert?utm_source=a-section
and
http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/09/13/unattended-children-will-be-shot/

9.16.2009

You came here expecting a blog post

Prepare to be sorely disappointed.
_____

I just locked an open door... strange, yet symbolically compelling.

Here's to alcohol, the cause of —and solution to— all life's problems.

Well done, android. The Enrichment Center once again reminds you that android hell is a real place where you will be sent at the first sign of defiance.

The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is: No.

You're as repulsive as a monkey in a negligee.

We're baking lots of cake like you've never seen before.

Bite my glorious golden ass!

Definition: 'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope. Statement: This definition, I am told, is subject to interpretation. Obviously, love is a matter of odds. Not many meatbags could make such a shot, and fewer would derive love from it. Yet for me, love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticle, and together, achieving a singular purpose, against statistically long odds.

Me fail English? That's unpossible.

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

This is the worst kind of discrimination. The kind against me.

Your love is like a brontosaurus. Recognized as a mistaken combination long ago, lingering only out of misplaced affection for the past.

In what scientists are calling "pretty gay", I can't find my shoes.

You know how some people consider "may you lead an interesting life" a curse? Well, screw that, let's have an adventure.

Looking at one's cards is a crutch for those that rely on skill.

Read 'em and weep! And then tell me what they are.

Bite my shiny metal hat.

You're not a good person. You know that, right? Good people don't end up here.

What's a wedding? Webster's dictionary describes it as the act of removing weeds from one's garden.

There goes the neighborhood. There goes another neighborhood.

No, you're driving under the influence... of being a jerk!

My eyes! The goggles do nothing!

Gonna eat your brains and gain your knowledge.

The internet is a series of tubes.

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

My Logical Data Analysis Sector indicates that would be highly unlikely, and my Bullshit Meter agrees.

I hate you!!! And I hate the bands you like!!!

9.12.2009

Bug Bite Remedies

I do not know why, but my blood is especially attractive to mosquitos.
It tastes pretty gross to me, but maybe that's not the same for them.

As of now, I am squirming with 17 bites on my feet (most of them "inactive" now, thank God), which is mild compared to my record of 30/40+ at one time. I compiled a list of some remedies that work for me (taken from the intranet of course). Some may be more or less effective depending on you.

-Baking Soda+Water mixed into a thin paste (quite effective)
-A slice of fresh lemon applied directly to bite
-Lemon Juice + Salt + Mouthwash (not too effective)
-A towel soaked in hot water (as hot as it could be w/o burning yourself) and poking your big bites with it (quite effective)
-Mark an "X" with your fingernail right on the center of the bite. Releases some toxin apparantly
-Spit (should be last resort, really)

If you find yourself scratching incessantly, stick a Band Aid over the bite. Who wants an infection, srsly.