Q.E.D., suckers.

Although Christians shouldn't be taking classes taught by an athiest in the first place, I found this quite amusin' even though I see fallacies on both sides.
[Stolen from Spaz from Jaimz00rz from Book of Faces.]


"LET ME EXPLAIN THE problem science has with Jesus Christ." The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand. "You're a Christian, aren't you, son?"
"Yes, sir."
"So you believe in God?"
"Absolutely."
"Is God good?"
"Sure! God's good."
"Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?"
"Yes."
"Are you good or evil?"
"The Bible says I'm evil."
The professor grins knowingly. "Ahh! THE BIBLE!" He considers for a moment. "Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help them? Would you try?"
"Yes sir, I would."
"So you're good...!"
"I wouldn't say that."
"Why not say that? You would help a sick and maimed person if you could...in fact most of us would if we could....God doesn't."
[No answer]
"He doesn't, does he? My brother was a Christian who died of cancer even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?"
[No answer]
The elderly man is sympathetic. "No, you can't, can you?" He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax. "In philosophy, you have to go easy with the new ones. Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?"
"Er... Yes."
"Is Satan good?"
"No."
"Where does Satan come from?"
The student falters. "From... God..."
"That's right. God made Satan, didn't he?" The elderly man runs his bony fingers through his thinning hair and turns to the smirking student audience. "I think we're going to have a lot of fun this semester, ladies and gentlemen." He turns back to the Christian. "Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?"
"Yes, sir."
"Evil's everywhere, isn't it? Did God make everything?"
"Yes."
"Who created evil?"
[No answer]
"Is there sickness in this world? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness. All the terrible things - do they exist in this world? "
The student squirms on his feet. "Yes."
"Who created them?"
[No answer]
The professor suddenly shouts at his student, "WHO CREATED THEM? TELL ME, PLEASE!" The professor closes in for the kill and climbs into the Christian's face. In a still small voice, he asked, "God created all evil, didn't He, son?"
[No answer]
The student tries to hold the steady, experienced gaze and fails. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace the front of the classroom like an aging panther. The class is mesmerized. "Tell me," he continues, "How is it that this God is good if He created all evil throughout all time?" The professor swishes his arms around to encompass the wickedness of the world. "All the hatred, the brutality, all the pain, all the torture, all the death and ugliness and all the suffering created by this good God is all over the world, isn't it, young man?"
[No answer]
"Don't you see it all over the place? Huh?" Pause. "Don't you?" The professor leans into the student's face again and
whispers, "Is God good?"
[No answer]
"Do you believe in Jesus Christ, son?"
The student's voice betrays him and cracks. "Yes, professor. I do."
The old man shakes his head sadly. "Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen Jesus?"
"No, sir. I've never seen Him."
"Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?"
"No, sir. I have not."
"Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus... in fact, do you have any sensory perception of your God whatsoever?"
[No answer]
"Answer me, please."
"No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't."
"You're AFRAID... you haven't?"
"No, sir."
"Yet you still believe in him?"
"...yes..."
"That takes FAITH!" The professor smiles sagely at the underling. "According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son? Where is your God now?"
[The student doesn't answer]
"Sit down, please."
The first Christian sits...defeated.
Another Christian raises his hand. "Professor, may I address the class?"
The professor turns and smiles. "Ah, yet another Christian in the vanguard! Come, come, young man. Speak some proper wisdom to the gathering."
The Christian looks around the room. "Some interesting points you are making, sir. Now I've got a question for you. Is there such thing as heat?"
"Yes," the professor replies. "There's heat."
"Is there such a thing as cold?"
"Yes, son, there's cold too."
"No, sir, there isn't."
The professor's grin freezes. The room suddenly becomes very quiet. The second Christian continues.
"You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit 273 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold, otherwise we would be able to go colder than -273°C. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it."
Silence. A pin drops somewhere in the classroom.
"Is there such a thing as darkness, professor?"
"That's a dumb question, son. What is night if it isn't darkness? What are you getting at...?"
"So you say there is such a thing as darkness?"
"Yes..."
"You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something, it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light... but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word. In reality, Darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker and give me a jar of it. Can you... give me a jar of darker darkness, professor?"
Despite himself, the professor smiles at the young effrontery before him. This will indeed be a good semester. "Would you mind telling us what your point is, young man?"
"Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with and so your conclusion must be in error...."
The professor goes toxic. "Flawed...? How dare you...!"
"Sir, may I explain what I mean?"
The class is all ears.
"Explain... ohhhhh, explain..." The professor makes an admirable effort to regain control. Suddenly he is affability himself. He waves his hand to silence the class, for the student to continue.
"You are working on the premise of duality," the Christian explains. "That for example there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science cannot even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism but has never seen, much less fully understood them. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, merely the absence of it." The young man holds up a newspaper he takes from the desk of a neighbor who has been reading it. "Here is one of the most disgusting tabloids this country hosts, professor. Is there such a thing as immorality?"
"Of course there is, now look..."
"Wrong again, sir. You see, immorality is merely the absence of morality. Is there such thing as injustice? No. Injustice is the absence of justice. Is there such a thing as evil?" The Christian pauses. "Isn't evil the absence of good?"
The professor's face has turned an alarming color. He is so angry he is temporarily speechless.
The Christian continues, "If there is evil in the world, professor, and we all agree there is, then God, if He exists, must be accomplishing a work through the agency of evil.1 What is that work God is accomplishing? The Bible tells us it is to see if each one of us will, of our own free will, choose good over evil."2
The professor bridles. "As a philosophical scientist, I don't view this matter as having anything to do with any choice; as a realist, I absolutely do not recognize the concept of God or any other theological factor as being part of the world equation because God is not observable."
The Christian replies, "I would have thought that the absence of God's moral code in this world is probably one of the most observable phenomena going, Newspapers make billions of dollars reporting it every week! Tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?"
"If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do."
"Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?"
The professor makes a sucking sound with his teeth and gives his student a silent, stony stare.
"Professor. Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?"
"I'll overlook your impudence in the light of our philosophical discussion. Now, have you quite finished?" the professor hisses.
"So you don't accept God's moral code to do what is righteous?"
"I believe in what is - that's science!"
"Ahh! SCIENCE!" the student's face splits into a grin. "Sir, you rightly state that science is the study of observed phenomena. Science too is a premise which is flawed..."
"SCIENCE IS FLAWED..?" the professor splutters.
The class is in uproar. The Christian remains standing until the commotion has subsided. "To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, may I give you an example of what I mean?"
The professor wisely keeps silent.
The Christian looks around the room. "Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's mind?" The class breaks out into laughter. The Christian points towards his elderly, crumbling tutor. "Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's mind... felt the professor's mind, touched or smelt the professor's mind? No one appears to have done so." The Christian shakes his head sadly. "It appears no one here has had any sensory perception of the professor's mind whatsoever. Well, according to the rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science, I DECLARE that the professor has no mind."
The class is in chaos.
The Christian sits.

The Punch Brothers

FTW!



Their other stuff are ingenius as well.

Flu Paranoia

I've honestly never contracted the flu before. (Nor have I ever gotten a nosebleed.) For whatever reason I am blessed with this miracle, I am glad, because that's somewhat of a relief if my immue system is just that darn good barricading against Mr. Frank Flu (totally made-up), considering the universal apprehension of the incoming FLU SEASON.

Nobody is really "overreacting" in California, which is quite an achievement when we are right on par with Mexico and folks on the other side of the planet in Egypt have executed thousands of piggies before a single H1N1 case have discovered there. Unfortunately, when school resumes for us minors, the risks of us spreading the love of the virus is not insignificantly low. (You should sit in my Alg 2 class sometime- it's like a well-conducted chorus of sniffles and sneezes!)

The antidote to contagious diseases are the usual: wash your hands (for >20 SECONDS, mind you), sneeze/hack into your elbow, avoid touching any part of your face that has an opening..etc. I have taken akin to toting around a bottle of hand sanitizer around with me, and lathering that good stuff profusely onto my paws compulsively (c wut i did ther :3). I am doing this because my sister just might have contracted some sort of sickness that MAY BE RELATED TO THE FLU, contributing to the fact that several kids in her uni have already been kidnapped by El H1N1. Plus, I just recovered from a sore throat that lasted less than 24 hours. BUT A SORE THROAT NONETHELESS.

So perhaps I'm overreacting now, which is quite rare if you know me. (I have a long criminal history with the institution of hygienic/disease phobias. Wait that didn't make any sense-) But maybe that should be justified, because 60% of Americans arenotworriedaboutthisandthisperfectlyhealthygirlinOhioorsomewherediedfromit. The consensus of doctors and other people in medical positions claim that H1N1 acts just like a regular flu, and unless you are pregnant, diabetic, have asthma, a babby, aged .5-24 years old, very elderly, or are a total n00b, you shouldn't be too distressed. Yeah, that severs a nice bulk of population, mm?


Okay, I'm going to get the flu shot ASAP.

ohh, also visit my other blog @ rosyshams.tumblr.com. No angst guarenteed; it'll just be photos and music. Yippee!

Test Blurb

Has anyone noticed how stringent testing policies at AHS are? I'm sure that this is necessary to deter any possible forms of cheating, but it just annoys me because I'm just a freshman.

Loads of people copy homework, anyways.

One kid in my chem. class asked to see a worksheet of mine.
Then I noticed that she started copying it.
I snatched it away, of course.

In Chem., the instructor was constantly yelling at people standing too close to each other when inspecting an array of tools to name.
In Alg. 2, a kid was scolded for having a pencil box on his desk, and another had the teacher fetch a tissue for her.

I'd just like to grab em and shake them by the shoulders (if I was tall enough) and yell,
"CHILL!!!1!"
but most likely they'd just say in return,
"THIS IS SRS BUSINESS!!`1`!!~11"

Also,
http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/dhs_sets_security_alert?utm_source=a-section
and
http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2009/09/13/unattended-children-will-be-shot/

So tiny in this world of nightmares

You came here expecting a blog post

Prepare to be sorely disappointed.
_____

I just locked an open door... strange, yet symbolically compelling.

Here's to alcohol, the cause of —and solution to— all life's problems.

Well done, android. The Enrichment Center once again reminds you that android hell is a real place where you will be sent at the first sign of defiance.

The following tale of alien encounters is true. And by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies. And in the end, isn't that the real truth? The answer is: No.

You're as repulsive as a monkey in a negligee.

We're baking lots of cake like you've never seen before.

Bite my glorious golden ass!

Definition: 'Love' is making a shot to the knees of a target 120 kilometers away using an Aratech sniper rifle with a tri-light scope. Statement: This definition, I am told, is subject to interpretation. Obviously, love is a matter of odds. Not many meatbags could make such a shot, and fewer would derive love from it. Yet for me, love is knowing your target, putting them in your targeting reticle, and together, achieving a singular purpose, against statistically long odds.

Me fail English? That's unpossible.

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

This is the worst kind of discrimination. The kind against me.

Your love is like a brontosaurus. Recognized as a mistaken combination long ago, lingering only out of misplaced affection for the past.

In what scientists are calling "pretty gay", I can't find my shoes.

You know how some people consider "may you lead an interesting life" a curse? Well, screw that, let's have an adventure.

Looking at one's cards is a crutch for those that rely on skill.

Read 'em and weep! And then tell me what they are.

Bite my shiny metal hat.

You're not a good person. You know that, right? Good people don't end up here.

What's a wedding? Webster's dictionary describes it as the act of removing weeds from one's garden.

There goes the neighborhood. There goes another neighborhood.

No, you're driving under the influence... of being a jerk!

My eyes! The goggles do nothing!

Gonna eat your brains and gain your knowledge.

The internet is a series of tubes.

I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

My Logical Data Analysis Sector indicates that would be highly unlikely, and my Bullshit Meter agrees.

I hate you!!! And I hate the bands you like!!!

Bug Bite Remedies

I do not know why, but my blood is especially attractive to mosquitos.
It tastes pretty gross to me, but maybe that's not the same for them.

As of now, I am squirming with 17 bites on my feet (most of them "inactive" now, thank God), which is mild compared to my record of 30/40+ at one time. I compiled a list of some remedies that work for me (taken from the intranet of course). Some may be more or less effective depending on you.

-Baking Soda+Water mixed into a thin paste (quite effective)
-A slice of fresh lemon applied directly to bite
-Lemon Juice + Salt + Mouthwash (not too effective)
-A towel soaked in hot water (as hot as it could be w/o burning yourself) and poking your big bites with it (quite effective)
-Mark an "X" with your fingernail right on the center of the bite. Releases some toxin apparantly
-Spit (should be last resort, really)

If you find yourself scratching incessantly, stick a Band Aid over the bite. Who wants an infection, srsly.

A H S

Summer melted away like that witch from Wiz. of Oz into a puddle.
Or should I say, school.
Before I commence my rant on how GREAT high school is, I must say my summer was a failure.
I neglected many of my " goals " (1000 words in 3 months? Ha! More like 50.) and barely brushed any of them, except maybe for the violining bit.

Anyways, I am currently infatuated with high school life. After 2 years of being cooped up in the perpetually unchanging ratty environment with the same ratty people, it was quite pleasant. (Lawl, jk ; I LOVE YOU GUYS.)

Why is it so enjoyable?
1. AWESOME FRIENDS (/acquaintances)
I found out that the secret to making friends is just not to be timid. Or shy.
Yeah, I know- common sense, d'oh..
but hey-
I just realized that.
So I met quite a few people bursting with winsauce and they make the transition much more easier. and goofier.

2. AWESOME TEACHERS
Two of my teachers lets us eat in class/chew gum.
Luckily, one of the classes is right before lunch, so no more power-starving!
Woo!
omnomnomnom.
Also, they're pretty cool, in the respect that I am actually interested in what they have to say and LOOK FORWARD to CLASS. Gasp !

3. Better food variety, srsly.
First time I saw SALAD being served in school as a main course.
SALAD, people.
LIKE ACTUAL
FRESH.
VEGETABLES.

OH
MY
GOSH.

You came here expecting a Jazznkat update