the ctrl-v game

at random points in time, go to the comments section of this blog and press ctrl-v.

no cheating now.

i'll start:
-load P6jB 0yLN GLmu GCK9 9Ny9 JVoT g999 9d09 7Pm9 6 (im pretty sure only bill will recognize this)

Just Looking Around, Found Out Something

Don't piss off God.

Click here for the boring explanation, or keep reading for the awesome JnK one.

King Herod, Herod the Great was a King of Judea, known for his hand in the building of the Second Temple and the "Massacre of the Innocents." If you don't recognize this name yet, don't go Googling it and spoiling the surprise now.

Herod suffered from severe kidney disease, and also, something called Fournier gangrene, which is, in a (literal) nutshell, penis rot.

That's right, his penis rotted off. I'd supply a picture if it weren't for the fact that I'm scared to death of seeing a picture of it too.

Now, what could possibly cause this? Those of you who have a better-than-average knowledge of the Gospel should. King Herod was responsible for the "Massacre of the Innocents", which unfortunately for him, wasn't the name of some awesome garage band and also exactly what it sounds like. Where modern science fails to explain how Herod was unlucky enough to have his man parts decompose while he was still alive, the Bible takes over.

According to the Bible, King Herod found out a new King of the Jews was just born and he desperately wanted to keep his position, and decided to murder the newborn child. That's right, he decided to murder baby Jesus. Now of course, he had no idea which baby-in-a-manger-under-a-pretty-bright-star was the newly birthed Messiah, so his rational, reasonable solution was to simply kill every baby he could get his hands on and hope one of them was Jesus.

Now, this was a mistake because:
-There are a lot of babies in the world, most of them not the Son of Man
-Wholesale murder of innocent babies is usually frowned upon by, well, everyone who doesn't have pins sticking out of their heads.
-Even more so when one of them is supposed to be the living sacrifice to exempt the human race from their sins.
-And, well, Jesus is Jesus and therefore pretty hard to kill, even in the form of a baby lying on top of some hay. In fairness, though, He was pretty easy to kill after being nailed on a cross willingly for a few days and then pierced with a spear. Now staying dead, that was a different matter entirely. Houdini couldn't beat that on his best day.

And obviously, this plan not only failed spectacularly, but also pissed off God so much that He decided to murder Herod's junk. Now, "God did it" is pretty hard to prove, but what would you rather believe, that God does this to people he really doesn't like, or that this shit can happen to you at any time?

to prove we really have a to-do list

this is it:

-provide an outlet for all the random shit that goes down in our heads
-have more than 2 readers
-have more than two readers that don't suck
-cool, useless junk on the sidebar and lots of it
-blog about our feelings
-blog about our genuine feelings like a real teenager
-win the pulitzer prize

-rig the pulitzer prize
-get mildly famous (see also: shoot the banker video)
-get mildly famous for real
-start a meme
-save the world from the mermaid menace
-find a way to create something out of nothing
-prove magic is a lie by using magic
-have a devoted team of writers blogging daily about interesting things
-have a team of writers that blog daily
-have a writer that blogs
-invent energy shields from halo(technically, finished because our aura of awesome stops anything harmful in its tracks to begin with -jason)
-grow crops in outer space
-grow crops on the freaking SUN
-bring a knife to a gunfight- and shoot someone with it
-bring a gun to a knifefight- and shoot someone with it
-obtain a picture of a rich white boy wearing a dress(problem that resolved itself -jason)
-secret to faster than light travel
-cause the apocalypse and then avoid it by flash cloning the world
-dump bleach in atlantis
-be a success
-dump bleach in atlantis again
-start the fire
-make it to carnegie hall
-find out why those mermaids in atlantis keep surviving all those bleachings
-brutally murder tanya and kathleen (THEY JUST WON'T STAY DOWN. HOW MANY LIVES CAN A KAT HAVE?)
-do the impossible
-see the invisible
-row row fight the powah

http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2010/04/15/online-shoppers-unknowingly-sold-souls/

tl;dr 7500 people dont read the contract and accidentally sell their souls while buying games online.

a little e-card to all readers

http://www.someecards.com/family-cards/justin-bieber-is-like-the-little-brother-i-never-had-the-chance-to-repeatedly-beat-the-shit-out-of

as soon as you read this, clap your hands

Why the JnK has gone toxic from procrastination

-To be finished later.

Follow Kat on Twitter!

https://twitter.com/falseyellow

Thanks to my unlimited texts, I shall be tweeting extensively from NYC/Philly.

You'll be the first to know...:

-when I trip literally head over heels in Carnegie

-how much of a fool I made of myself in the Juilliard masterclass

-if I get mugged on the streets of NYC

-how good my Philly cheesesteak was

-how much I miss school (HA! In your dreams)

-how much more/less fun I'm having than you

As of now, I'm going to resume packing.

Tweet you later (?!?!?)

Kwokitout (5:16:10 PM): wait what the fuck
Kwokitout (5:16:14 PM): is up with that picture
xXyZaThEx (5:16:22 PM): yeah
xXyZaThEx (5:16:32 PM): i think gordon got a haircut
Kwokitout (5:16:37 PM): and austin has that whole coolface goin' on
xXyZaThEx (5:16:37 PM): and austin
xXyZaThEx (5:16:42 PM): has this coolface
xXyZaThEx (5:16:44 PM): yeah
xXyZaThEx (5:16:48 PM): also, they're both wearing dresses
xXyZaThEx (5:22:23 PM): oh my god
xXyZaThEx (5:22:30 PM): i just noticed something completely off about that picture
Kwokitout (5:22:32 PM): ?
xXyZaThEx (5:22:32 PM): like
xXyZaThEx (5:22:34 PM): seriously
xXyZaThEx (5:22:35 PM): completely
xXyZaThEx (5:22:36 PM): wrong
xXyZaThEx (5:22:38 PM): with that picture
xXyZaThEx (5:22:45 PM): that makes austin and gordon completely different
xXyZaThEx (5:22:53 PM): they dont have silly hats on
Kwokitout (5:23:00 PM): oh okay
xXyZaThEx (5:23:15 PM): once you've seen it you can't unsee it
Kwokitout (5:23:38 PM): holy shit, you'er right
xXyZaThEx (5:24:23 PM): and you see those dresses?
xXyZaThEx (5:24:31 PM): the stiching's off
xXyZaThEx (5:24:36 PM): stitching*
xXyZaThEx (5:24:40 PM): everything else is normal though
Kwokitout (5:24:46 PM): you mean austin's?
xXyZaThEx (5:24:48 PM): yeah
Kwokitout (5:24:53 PM): I think it's supposed to be frilly like that
xXyZaThEx (5:25:12 PM): but all those other dresses austin wears dont have frills on them

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2010/04/04/MNN71CLD65.DTL&nopu=1

Survey

Hi, my name is: Kathleen.
Never in my life have I been: skiing/snowboarding.
The one person who can drive me nuts is: my mother.
High school: is a drag.
When I’m nervous: my heart rate increases, my palms get sweaty and I get hyper.
The last song I listened to was: Mendelssohn Trio in E minor (Beaux Arts Trio).
If I were to get married right now my best man/maid of honor: My sis.
My hair is: getting quite long.
When I was 5: I liked to draw pictures and hand them to random guests.
Last Christmas: I ate a crapload of chocolate.
I should be: practicing violin.
When I look down I see: my violin resting idly on my lap.
The happiest recent event was: unlimited texting dawg! Er, cat.
If I were a character on ‘Friends’ I’d be: a good friend ?
By this time next year: I should have achieved a power level of OVER 9000!!!11!1!
My current gripe is: mastering my repertoire for upcoming gigs and sleep deprivation.
I have a hard time understanding: my parents and Alg 2.
There’s this girl I know that: I wish I was still friends with.
I like you when: you make me raff in unraffable times.
If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be: my mumdad.
Take my advice: to trust in God and his Word.
The thing I want to buy: is too expensive.
If you visited the place I was born: you'd probably be a pregnant woman, I hope.
I plan to visit: China this summer, and New Zealand somewhere in the hazy future.
If you spent the night at my house: you'd sleep in the lower bunk.
I’d stop my wedding if: a loved one died.
The world could do without: hate, abortion, greed, violence, stinging insects, dinosaurs, etc.
I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: let you down.
Most recent thing I’ve bought myself: milc @ lunch
Most recent thing someone else bought me: chocolate Easter eggs (:
My favorite blonde is: yellow-haired.
My favorite brunette is: churck norris
My favorite red head is: your mum, for lack of a better answer.
My middle name is: in Chinese.
In the morning I: practiced violin and had a coaching.
The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are: humans.
Once, at a bar: I asked for a cup of water.
Last night I was: texting until I fell asleep.
There’s this guy I know who: I am concerned about.
If I was an animal I’d be: a falcon, hawk, or some other awesome bird.
A better name for me would be: Winsauceleen.
Tomorrow I am: celebrating Jesus.
Tonight I am: cold. brrr
My birthday is: going to be awesome; my mum promised me years ago to let me throw a party.

Spaztastic Returns

in your pants.