I remember

When Yellowcard was the shit in 5th grade. Specifically, I remember Lyndon Tat randomly singing Breathing in Sweeney's class, which makes one of the very very few times I've actually agreed with him (and I have the slightest, just the slightest, feeling that it had something to do with his cousin, if you're reading this and remember him, Kathleen). But anyways, all of Yellowcard's great songs have faded into obscurity since every album they have ranges from moderately good to terrible, except for Ocean Avenue, which ranks on my scale as a "listen to for hours on end" level.

So yeah, this song is from the Ocean Avenue album, and I can hardly believe (hurr hurr) that I only rediscovered it just now, despite the fact that, as Kat will gladly and annoyed-ly testify to, I obsessed over Yellowcard for a good chunk of 8th grade.

Reasons We Should All Shut Up About the Mosque at Ground Zero

Okay, so since we have about four readers, we all know that Austin recently posted about the mosque at Ground Zero. So, in the hour I have before I leave to music camp for the next five days, I will tell you why the debate is retarded and everyone debating it is retarded, especially future worst president ever Sarah Palin

That picture to the left is a map of Ground Zero and the surrounding areas. Note that purple is Ground Zero, and the red square is the proposed mosque. You know how a city block is pretty damn big, right? Well the distance between Ground Zero and the mosque is a grand total of two city blocks. This place isn't anywhere NEAR Ground Zero, it's not built on the former site of a terrorist attack that ended thousands of lives and affected billions more, it's built on the former site of a Burlington Coat Factory. That's like if some guy decided to build a Jamba Juice downtown in Jerusalem, and for some reason people automatically assumed he would be opening up shop inside the Church of the Sepulcher and building his store out of pieces of the Dome of the Rock, all while taking a giant piss into the Holy Grail. Makes no sense whatsoever.

What, you're saying just because something vaguely Islam-related happened in the general area of New York, and Muslims aren't allowed in because their religion was perverted by radicals into something violent and terrible? Well guess what, the Knights Templar did that to my religion for 300 years during the Crusades, and you don't see people protesting churches everywhere in Europe and the Middle East.

It's not even a mosque, for Christ's sake. It's a community center with a small worship space inside it. You don't call music camp (Camp Maranatha) a religious pilgrimage just because it has a bunch of crosses everywhere (actually, its normal function is a camp for Christian retreats, but they also rent it out to people like us). The "mosque"'s other uses? Among other things, a basketball court. It's called Park 51 for a reason, you know. But since people like Palin and politcal tumor Newt Gingrich automatically associate the word "mosque" with "mosquito bite", "masque, like DECEPTION!", and "dirty sandback niggerjewmuslims", that's what we're stuck with, a debate that by all rights is a political abortion.

And let me end this on a high note: You can't legally stop people from obeying the law. Ladies and gentlemen, meet the Tenth Amendment.

Let's take a look at some gems such as this:

"We all know they have a right to do it, but should they?"-Palin's Twitter Feed

Oh okay, that's... strange logic. Just thinking about it makes me want to go a bit insane, but since you're participating in this debate, you're retarded enough for me to let it slide...

"While respecting that Muslims have the right to their First Amendment freedom... this mosque should be built someplace else."-Spokesperson for Sen. Harry Reid

RGAHGAHGGAHGHGDSLJFHSFDLFFGFUCKYOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Music Camp Tomorrow

Hooray, when we get back from the thing that wipes us out completely, it'll be time for the start of school, the other thing that wipes us out completely!

Anyways, I've given up on Kat posting a 400th post before I do, so I'm just calling this a mini-post. As in, doesn't count as a post at all. I hope you're happy, lazy jerkface that procrastinates 100x less than I do.

Anyways, my schedule for next year:

1 PE

2 Orch 2

3 Chinese 4

4 AP Bio

5 Eng H

6 Math Anal

I raff at my periods 3,4,5. No sleep for me this year.

And now for something totally unrelated:

Ignore this post, this is still the 399th post officially.

Sorry, couldn't refrain from posting this here, this had me laughing so hard. Gonna delete the Holy Amnesia post just to make this the 399th post still. Here's the text:

Apparently, that whacked-out .GIF I put up in my last post was our 400th post.

And here I was intending to force Kat to make a celebratory 400th post before.

We'll just pretend these last two posts didn't happen and make her write one when she gets back.

My World (Is a shitty album)

A little searching on Youtube got me all the research material I need for this post. I realized that most of Justin Bieber's songs are about heartbreak and rejection, even before he got famous, which really makes me wonder: How is Justin Bieber getting so much action that he has "a favorite girl" out of "all the girls he's ever known"?

Another gem: "How many bags you'd packed" from the song One Less Lonely Girl. "How many bags you'd packed"? Really? You're singing about a 15-year old girl, not a tired, lonely woman rejected once too many times. The last time she had to pack was probably deciding what to bring on her next Disney World trip.

^Absolutely not.

Anyways, all of his songs are generic pop/R&B mixes that I can hardly believe a 16-year old guy sang. The voice sounds girly enough to be something R. Kelly would listen to. While urinating on pre-teen girls. Have fun with that image, folks.

Then I got to that Baby song I know half the lyrics too, despite the fact that I've never listened to the entire song, ever. I'm pretty sure a wise man living in the mountains taking a vow of silence knows the lyrics to this song by now, but here it is anyways. Go look up the music video yourself, I have no intention of increasing its number of viewers.

Okay, really? Most of the time in a bowling alley I'm trying to figure out why I suck so much without using those bumpers on the side. You're really going to stage a song about heartbreak and rejection in a place that smells like feet while flirting with random video girls?

"Oh whooaooaooohohoh x3"

Great, it's like listening to Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, and the Jonas Brothers all over again. Except I can't remember for the life of me what happened to them when 2010 came along.

"I thought you'd always always be mine"

Wait, so according to this music video, you've known her for five minutes, and you're already singing about how you want her forever.

It goes pretty much how you'd expect it to go until after the 3rd chorus when I'm struck by the blandest rap I've ever heard. It's basically some guy talking fast into a mic while the theme of Baby goes on in the background. And much to my surprise, the rapper is Ludacris, the guy whose "Red Light District" album introduced me to rap, along with Eminem and D12. Way to keep it street, buddy.

So essentially, Justin Bieber is a clingy teenage boy with a voice that sounds like someone's puberty needs a jump start. I can understand that his music is popular, sure, but Vanilla Ice was popular, and look where it got him.

The Beatles were popular too, and you never saw an army of teenage girl-

Okay, fine, but Elvis was popular, and he never had women swarm-

My Chemical Romance is still big, but they don't have massive amounts of Youtube comments talking about how hot-

Aw, dammit!

Announcement: Posts About Justin Bieber

Seeing this really made me think. I mean, I know I'm supposed to hate Justin Bieber and everything he does, otherwise I'm not allowed to be funny on the internet anymore, but why?

I know that when the clock chimes twelve times at the end of the year on midnight eve, the fairy godmother's magic will expire and Justin Bieber's career will transform back into the five mice and a pumpkin they once were, leaving only a couple of transparent albums behind as the last trace of what was once a billion dollar franchise (does anyone remember the Jonas Brothers?), but what compels me to type that giant run-on sentence and publish it on my four-reader blog?

So to find out, I've decided to pretend to be a pre-teen/middle-aged cougar and become a Justin Bieber fan. But only little by little.

Wouldn't want to have to go shopping for skirts.