3.23.2009

sporks

hardcore
Sporks are one of the most innovative innovations since the dawn of man, evolving from numerous mutations and through the process of natural selection has it
become so superior to other utensils. But you already know all this so...

THE TECHNOLOGY OF A SPORK.



As seen above is the Dorsal view, which consists of the following:

* Cranial Fossa - Large depression which spans the cranium. In native habitats, this area is used to hold food for transportation
* Rostral Processes - These projections extend from the cranium and act functionally as teeth, used to impale foods.
* Canines - Sharp, cranial projections also known as tines which are used to impale foods.
* Cranial Ridge - Ridge that makes up the lateral margins of the cranium
* Neck - The tapering, most anterior portion of the trunk.
* Dorsal Carina - Ridge that extends dorsally along the entire surface of the trunk.
* Platysmal surfaces - Flat surfaces on either side of the dorsal carina.
* Cercus - The posterior tip of the trunk.



The above is the ventral view, which consists of the following:

Ventral View

* Hypocercal Ridge - Ridge that begins at the lateral edge of the cranium and extends down the trunk to the cercus.
* Cranial Clefts - Short structural supports that adds stability to the neck, allowing greater pressure to be placed on the cranium.
* Cranial Groove - Continuation of the cercal groove extending up the neck to the cranium.
* Cranial Condyle - Knob projecting from the base of the cranium.
* Transcervical Clefts - Cross-hatching structural supports that prevent torsion of the neck, adding essential stability to T. athenius.
* Thoracic Condyle - Knob projecting from the most anterior portion of the trunk.
* Cercal Groove - The underside of the dorsal carina, extends the entire length of the trunk.
* Cercal Condyle - Knob projecting from the most posterior portion of the cercus.


Through a long process of evolution these phenotypes have formed. Sporks have many species as well, ranging from hard plastic and soft plastic to titanium, aluminum, and stainless steel. Some exotic species can be seen in Asia with a deeper cranial fossa. Over time the spork has become a more efficient, versatile, and durable utensil than any other.


(taken frum somewhere else, credit goes to username:Collin 665)

12 comments:

lan mao said...

-to your last sentence
Amen.

SpazJaz said...

Eric...

You should consider getting a hobby.

How about spork collecting?

SpazJaz said...

Lol, just got inspired to maybe do a spaztastic comic.

when my heat stroke goes down.

MY HEAD SPORKING HURTS.

Anonymous said...

Lol. Where did you get this? BTW, Spaz, did you really quit Top League? Anyway, good stuff. *basks in the aroma of awesomeness*

SpazJaz said...

How the fuck did you find this website, Jeff?


No really, how?

Kat. said...

Language, spaz.

Anonymous said...

Very clever - excellent work.

SpazJaz said...

Who might Jason Lancaster be?

We're getting popular lol.

lan mao said...

Awkward...
How do you guys find this website anyway, click random blog on Blogger for hours until you stumble on this one?

SpazJaz said...

Since Jason Lancaster is from SporkMarketing, I assume he just looked up Sporks on Google and spent a couple of hours sifting through it.

Jeff said...

Yeah, Jason, you showed me this website... Not that I don't have a life anyway...............

Anonymous said...

I believe this is from retrieved facepunchstudios.com.