The return of SpazJaz

Yeah, I've been up at the Bay Area with my brother for Thanksgiving and Black Friday.

I got some new stuff, particularly a new monitor that pwns hard. My eyes hurt so good!

Now for the humor
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If God were a frat boy

Noah's Ark-

God: Noah! Our frat's gonna have a huuuuge party. Can you build a boat? I'm going to flood the stadium. Oh, and get two of each animal.

Noah: Why two of each animal?

God: Well, it's gonna be a really crazy party.
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Abraham Sacrificing Issac-

Abraham: So I sacrifice my son Issac, right?

God: Yep, that's the dare.

Abraham: Okay... (Starts to bring down knife)

God: AHAHAHA! YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE!

Issac: Oh my God! You were actually going to do it!

God: Awkward...
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Lot and the Damning of Sodom-

(Lot and his family are running away from Sodom. God is running with them.)
God: WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T LOOK BACK!
(Lot's wife immediately looks back and turns into a pillar of salt)
God: Hahaa, made you look!
Lot: Hey dude, not cool. That was my wife!
God: Whatever dude, bros before hoes.
Lot's Daughter: Respect!
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The Book of Job (Out there looking for a Job. :P)-

Job: Um, hey God, I know you destroyed all my property, plagued me, plagued my livestock, and had my livestock eat my family, but we're still cool, right?

God: No, we're not cool.

Job: NOOOOO! THIS FRAT WAS ALL I HAD LEFT! NOOOOOO!

God: HAH! TOLD YOU! You owe me twenty bucks, Lucifer.

Lucifer (From another frat): Shit dude, I knew we should've just played Gears of War.

God: Whatever, loser.

Job: So we are cool?

God: Huh? Yeah, whatever.

Job: YES! And do I get my family back?

God: Uh, I'll get back to you on that one.
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-Jason, because I can